A Sort of Catch up Week

You know. You think your family love you and then you see a photo like this and you wonder how anyone who loved you could let you go out looking like that! This is me in the garden enjoying the dregs of summer with a very relaxed Morecambe. I haven't really been out in the glasses. They were £2 from Primark and we call them my Harry Potters. This week has been funny. I really can't think of anything to tell you.....really nothing to share....except

Now I think about it, I haven't exactly been tied to the kitchen sink. We went to the theatre to see "The Ladykillers". I remember the film with Alec Guinness and it frightened the life out of me - all very sinister. This was played much more for laughs except when it all goes pear shaped. It was done really well (I have never seen anyone stabbed to death with a bit of banister before) and the set was superb. Best set I have seen since the helicopter came on in Miss Saigon  (That is the only bit I remember about Miss Saigon - the rest seemed to drone on a bit) I did have the chance to see Blood Brothers with Marti Pellow but to be honest, I would rather poke my own eyes out with a spoon. Nothing against Mr Pellow who I am sure is jolly nice but I hate "Star Vehicles" in musicals. I like to watch something without all the mumbling about "Was she in Eastenders?" and giggling when the "Star" comes on.

Oh and...

We had a Vintage Fair in Plymouth. Proper vintage fair mind you and not one of these events where you wander round looking at stalls with dodgy looking mattresses and old bits of plastic piping. This was all lovely and 1940s/1950s based with everyone all dressed accordingly and a live band playing stuff like "In The Mood". I have never seen so many vintage tea-cups in my life.

Oh and...

Also, had a small moment when I was certain that dementia was setting in. Sat at Church Communications Team meeting and a chap refers to some work that has been done regarding advertising for volunteers and putting together some  ideas and lists etc. and I am nodding my head and grinning at no-one in particular and thinking "Well done whoever that was" and then when I look - everyone is looking at me and smiling and waiting for me to explain what I did. It was me! I had done the lists! I honestly couldn't remember doing it for what seemed like an age but was probably a few seconds. Then it all clicked back. In my defence we haven't had a meeting all summer and I have had a lot on my plate but was slightly concerned that it took me more than a few seconds to work out what the jiminy they were all on about. Think I got away with it.

Oh and....

BEWARE-SPOILER ALERT
Caught up with Parade's End. I have loved this so much. So beautifully written. Each line and each performance seemed so rich. Sir Benedict of Cumberbatch did really well making a strange character so sympathetic as did Rebecca Hall. I think she did almost too well because I was very nearly rooting for her at the end. (Only nearly) I loved the end. I loved how low key and gentle and well just - happy it was. One of my TV highlights this year. Also Doctor Who, end of the series (and of certain people - never did really love her that much but really liked him) also very good. The Weeping Angels are a genius creation.

Oh and...

Have been packing and stuff all week for FOW1's return to university. We have loved having him back but it is time to go and he is ready as all his friends have gone. I never quite understand how people cope with this kind of thing who don't have access to prayer. I pester the living daylights out of God at times like this and am very grateful that I can.

Oh and just wanted to leave you with this just because it it  - well just very, very good. I made a decision to try and use Bible verses from the Message as much as possible on the blog because it is very accessible but I have really loved it and am getting so much from it myself. Like this from Philippians 1...

"So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings So that your love is sincere and intelligent  not sentimental gush. Live a lover's life, circumspect and exemplary  A life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God."

Sometimes people make out that Christians are nice but dim. That our God commands us to follow blindly and not be thoughtful and intelligent. Read this and you will see that sometimes people are wrong.

And this one...we don't do no more

Paraphrasing slightly (as usual) from Father of the Bride. There are hymns which I grew up with that used to be part of the national, Christian consciousnesses. For instance I used to love "When a Knight won his Spurs." We don't do them so much now. Remember it?

So lovely and to my old, slightly jaundiced ears, so much better than some of the Jesus is my girlfriend songs we get now. (Don't get worked up, I can give you the names of several thousand witnesses who know that I really appreciate good loud worship and that I bow to no-one in my admiration of Tim Hughes et al)
FOW1 spent some of the summer reading a book for his archaeology degree called "By Sword and Fire - Cruelty and Atrocity in Medieval Warfare" From what I can make out, most knights spent their time a-pillaging and
a-massacring anything with a pulse rather than your actual gallanting and chivalrying.
This may be why it has fallen out of favour, which I suppose is fair enough. Still, it makes me a little sad. It always made me think of truth and honour being important and seemed to have this spirit of commitment running through it. And I like that and I don't care.

On a less edifying note.Went out Friday night and had to record last episode of Parade's End. Still haven't had time to watch it so have commanded the few people I know who are following it to refrain from any mention of ANYTHING at all that went on. Especially the prospect of jig-a jig. Am not sure this programme is doing my spirituality any good at all as am very much hoping that he leaves his wife and goes off with Valentine. I am not proud of myself.

Remembering

I remember you always wandering off as a little boy and having to send Pedro - our chihuahua to find you.

I remember you sitting on my knee when you were perhaps six years old. You and your friend were being interviewed by the police as someone had reported you for vandalising their garden by pulling up all their pansies. You were so upset and full of denials and the policeman was so lovely that we all knew that it couldn't have been you. Until the police man left and you gave me a big theatrical wink.

I remember us decorating Mum's front room and you falling off the step ladders (in a non-ambulance needing kind of way) and the whole thing descended into a Laurel and Hardy farce. Then Mum came in and really told us off while we stifled giggles. I was 28 and you were 20.

I remember how you used to lecture me about God being faithful in all things, especially our weakness and how I should lighten up a bit and just be grateful.

I remember sitting on the train with you to go to Manchester for a job interview. You had had such a bad time with a workplace bully in your first job and this would be such a leap. I was so proud when you got the job and prospered.

I remember that you were the first person I told when HOH first kissed me.

I remember when HOH had his eye operation and how you ferried me backwards and forwards to Manchester. We couldn't have done that without your kindness.

I remember when you lost your way and you hurt so many people in your confusion.

I remember when you told me you were gay and saying "So I'm supposed to be surprised"

I remember as we watched your lifestyle and the concerns we had for your safety both physical and for your heart. I remember us losing each other completely as my disapproval and fear came up against your behaviour.

I remember how you turned up out of the blue and how Liam told us that you had wanted to get your life back on track before you came back. When we came to the celebration at your civil ceremony you asked how I had got to this place. I told you how easy it was. The day that I realised that God just wanted me to love you - not judge you - that was never my place. And I did love you and that was that and everything else flowed from that.

I remember that first Christmas with you and Liam and the evening with the Beatles Rockband. You were very unkind about my drumming.

I remember your breathlessness which became pneumonia. We wondered if it was as a result of your lifestyle (not that it would have made a difference) but the doctors said not. I remember the nurse who told me that although they saved over 90% of people with pneumonia that still meant that they lost nearly 10%.

I remember the day you became one of those 10%. Two years this week. I miss you Bro.

Dave Carter 1969-2010

This one is for me

Mostly dear readers of mine, I write a bit for me and a bit for you. I try and take into account what you might like to hear and scribble accordingly. This one, however, is more for me this week. I kind of know it but wanted to write it down because it will do me good to see it. Feel free to ignore.

A long reading - bit and pieces from Exodus. You can read it in more coherent form in the Bible

Sooo, the Children of Israel are on the run from Egypt, because Pharaoh had decided to let them go and then changed his mind, as you do when you are an all powerful despot I suppose. (Just a word of advice - bad move)

They moved on from Succoth and then camped at Etham at the edge of the wilderness. God went ahead of them in a Pillar of Cloud during the day to guide them on the way, and at night in a Pillar of Fire to give them light;this way they could travel by day and night. The Pillar of Cloud by Day and the Pillar of Fire by night never left the people.
God spoke to Moses "Tell the Israelites to turn around and make camp at Pi Hahiroth, between Migdol and the sea. Camp on the shore of the sea opposite Baal Zephon." And that's what happened.

Just to note here that the children of Israel who are not particularly noted for their unquestioning obedience to God are, for once doing exactly what they are told. They followed the Pillar exactly as God commanded and suddenly find that the whole thing goes massively pear shaped as they look behind to see lots of Egyptian shaped armies making a bee line for them. They are trapped. They are on the shore of the sea and the lie of the land means that they cannot go left or right - not to mention the fact that they are quite obviously NOT an army - they are a band of refugees who are not equipped for any sort of fighting at all. They have, to all intents and purposes, followed God into a trap. They then revert immediately to type and begin moaning and groaning and wishing they were dead etc. Moses - again to type - makes a big pronouncement about God while also telling then to back off.

"Don't be afraid. Stand firm and watch God do his work of salvation for you today. take a good look at the Egyptians for you're never going to see them again. God will fight the battle for you.
And you? You keep your mouths shut!"

The rest is history as they say. The very Pillar of Fire/Cloud that had proved so treacherous to Israel, turned on the Egyptians and they ended up sleeping with the fishes as Italian type people are sometimes heard to say.

So what to learn?
Not all messes are of my making. Sometimes I am being as obedient as I am ever going to get in this lifetime and it still ends up a big pile of poop.
It seems that God actually leads us into horrible places, where there is apparently no escape.
But, if I believe in God is it realistic believing in a God who
a) Ain't that keen on me
b) Is too wishy-washy to actually do anything to help me.
And anyway, all the evidence at my disposal points to a) and b) being a pile of piffle.

There is, of course, always the possibility that God leads us/me into these places to show us
a) How much he loves us by...
b) being God and doing something stupendous and rescuing us.

All I need to do is hand it over, carry on doing what I am told and believe.

Mark 9
I believe. Help me with my doubts

Things Old Christians Remember (Last Time)

I think this will probably be the last time I post on this because I am struggling to think of things now. There are of course a few bits and pieces.
Faith Teas - this was deliberately unplanned because it was an exercise in faith after all and God would make sure that we all brought different things. He didn't.
Street Witness / Theatre/ Door to Door To this day I cannot believe that I stood on Bolton Precinct doing the "I am the Devil" sketch or that I knocked on complete strangers' doors asking them if they wanted to be a friend of Jesus. I don't suppose it is the concept I dislike (although I have no time personally for uninvited people who knock on my door during Pointless) so much as how absolutely useless I was at it. I would be sick with nerves all day before and not much better after. I was a rubbish actor which is weird because I have done some speaking and enjoyed that. There used to be a sort of unspoken blackmail that said only the most spiritual people could do these things. Ha! My favourite ever door to door night was when I was paired with the man who was eventually to be Head of House and we went to the newsagents, bought a big bag of Maltesers and spent the evening sitting on a wall debating the best Woody Allen film ever made.
Sinners Bucket. HOH wanted me to write about this although I didn't ever see it. You were supposed to bring things like records, cigarettes, alcohol and other wrong things and leave them in a bucket at the front of the church. HOH says he would just like to say thank you to whoever it was in 1986 who brought the Marvin Gaye album because he had been looking for it for months. (This is possibly an urban myth. Possibly)
Washing up after the Sunday night meeting. I know lots of people will still do this now but it is one of my fondest church memories. Various members of the youth group would wash up after the coffee had been served on a Sunday night. We all got on really well and had a whale of a time. I laughed until snot came down my nose. Serving isn't always sacrifice to be frank.

Thank you for all your responses to these posts. It has been really lovely to remember all this and although much has changed for the better, there is very little in my Christian past that I would alter. Except possibly to utterly refuse to do the "I am the Devil" sketch.