Christmas Decs

Yep, have given in and they are up. Christmas is a time for re-meeting old friends. By that I mean decorations. You can just see our huge gold cherub which hangs in a dreamy Christmassy way from the ceiling. We love it. Not everyone does. Sample conversation with my mother.
Mum: Who bought you that? (Points at Angel)
HOH: We did.
Mum: Oh. (Pauses to reflect) Do you like it?

Anyway - wouldn't do for us all to like the same thing - as they say up north. Lots going on in the run up to Christmas but very little of it of interest to you I would think. Still have two weeks of work to go although I keep thinking it is only one so keep getting rude awakening jolt when I look properly at the calendar.

Am writing this while Head of House is repairing my attempt at putting up decorations yesterday while he was at work. I try to help with decking the halls etc. but inevitably HOH has to come home and do them properly. He attempts to make them right in a kind way as surreptitiously as possible but it is quite difficult to get a step-ladder out without me noticing. (Some would say that the fact that I DIDN'T actually get a step ladder out is the reason why the decorations need sorting out. You may have a point)

Fruit of Womb Two has been out on her own and bought her dress for church Christmas Do. She has done this without my advice or input this year, because apparently, last year when I helped her to choose it, she went out feeling like she looked a bit old. Wounding.

Tried to go and see Woody Allen Film this week but COULDN'T GET IN BECAUSE IT WAS FULL! I would just like to say that Head of House and I have stuck with Woody Allen through thick and thin - sometimes against our better judgement i.e. "Soon-Yi-gate". We saw The Curse of the Jade Scorpion don't you know (which I quite enjoyed actually) and, although we didn't make it totally to the end of Match Point, we did at least try. Now all these fairweather jonnies re-attach themselves because this film is supposedly a return to form. Well good manners would suggest that you get to the back of the queue. This is just not acceptable.

Fruit of Womb One is returning on Friday. This is very very lovely obviously and only slightly complicated by the fact that he originally said he was coming home on Saturday and we have selfishly arranged for friends to come round. Actually this won't make a difference because he won't be home until the early hours. If you are reading this boy - be warned - me and your dad are gettting seriously in the mood for hugs and kissy lips for you!!!

So why am I boring you with all this trivia? Let me explain with a story. A moth and a woodlouse were walking along the road. Suddenly, they see a beautiful bright light in the sky in the far distance.
"Let's go and see what it is!" says the woodlouse.
"Nah." relies the moth. "I've got so much to do. Washing, cleaning, working. You go and I'll follow."
But the moth never did get round to following and many days later he met the woodlouse as he returned.
"Well" the moth asked. "How was it?"
"It was am-az-ing!" replied the woodlouse. "I have never seen anything like it! The light we saw was a bright star and under the star was a stable. In the stable was a baby surrounded by shepherds, who were saying that the baby was going to be the saviour of the world. And I saw angels singing and praising God. It was truly awesome."
The moth was bitterly disappointed. He would have loved to see such a sight. And now whenever you see a moth you notice that it flies desperately towards any light that it sees - just in case it gets to see the baby Jesus.
True Story. Scientfic actually. OK, even if it isn't wholly true the sentiment is important - don't let day to day happenings good or bad take you eyes off the prize and the meaning of this spectacular season. Have a great week.

Ceremonies

I am writing this with a head full of cotton wool which is how I normally feel after a migraine that would fell a horse so please excuse any extra incoherence. It's been an "interesting" weekend and just wanted to share a couple of bits with you - do what you will with them.
Went to see a wedding on Saturday. Working in a church has meant that I have been to a lot of weddings as I think I have said before but I have to tell you that Saturday was one of the loveliest. There are a lot of things that Christians don't do well. No time or inclination to give you a list here but when Christians do a wedding well - they really do it well. A Christmas wedding with evergreen on the pews and a huge twinkling Christmas tree in the corner, AND we got to sing "Oh Come All Ye Faithful." which was lovely. Everyone sang with gusto as well which is usually confined to Christian weddings because everyone knows the tunes. (I went to wedding where we sang - barely -  "We plough the fields and scatter." I thought it was because we were in Wales and close to the land and all that but apparently not. It was because the bride and groom had thought that we would all be singing Whitney Houston songs and when they were forced to pick a hymn, that was the only one they knew.)
Anyway - back to the lovely wedding. I don't know if it was because the bride and groom are dancers and all their friends were there but the whole congregation was scoring very high on the beauty-ness-ometer. As Head of House put it "There is a lot of lusciousness in here today" which was very true. I love the West Country sometimes - lots of men with longer hair than their girlfriends and yet - somehow, down here it works. Then the bride walks in and she hasn't come dressed as meringue - she has come in beautiful vintage and looks stunning. She is followed by her bridesmaids who, as my grandad would have said, were "total Bobby Dazzlers" I liked the fact that both parents stood to give her away. I liked the way the groom looked suspiciously at us all when we were supposed to let everyone know if we could think of a reason why they shouldn't be married and I LOVED how, when they had kissed after the ceremony he grabbed hold of the bride and hugged her in a spontaneous flash of joy that she was actually his. The whole thing thrilled the living daylights out of me. The bride is actually the daughter of some friends of ours who have been very kind to us as we have been our most wobbly as we moved churches. We were so pleased to see them have such a lovely day.
On a slightly different note, I have spent a content hour this afternoon sobbing gently. Our church put together an hour for people to remember those they had lost. Especially as Christmas is approaching like a runaway train and it can be very difficult for those who have lost someone. I sat quietly and thought about my bro and how much I missed him. As we had arrived, we had been given beautiful long stemmed white roses which we were invited to put on the huge cross at the front of the church and then to light a candle. It was lovely. The sermon was a bit deep for me to be honest and I found my thoughts wandering to the story I heard on "Rev" of all places this week about Heaven,
There were some little bugs who lived underwater. One day one of the bugs crawled up a branch and out of the water. There he was surprised to see that he turned into a beautiful dragon-fly who soared into the sky with a freedom he had never known before. He was so happy he wanted to go back and tell his friends how wonderful life was out of the water but when he tried to get to them, he found that he couldn't reach them and get back under the water. This made him sad, until he realised that one day they too would crawl up the branch and join him and experience heaven with him,
Of course - I can't give you chapter and verse on that one but it feels right to me. And now having spent that hour with God thinking on these things, I guess I am ready to start Christmas. Tree is being bought tomorrow so all systems go.
Just wanted to leave you with the hymn we sang. For anyone who struggles with Christmas.

O Love that wilt not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.

O light that foll’west all my way,
I yield my flick’ring torch to thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.

O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.

O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life’s glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.

Worried?

Bah humbug! I think Christmas is great. I have a few personal reasons for getting a bit emotional when it is here but I love the idea that this is the day (Note the use of the word "day" not month or epoch) when we celebrate the beginning of the adventure. Christ with us. Love it. But for goodness sake it is still only November. I have started shopping and planning (despite presence of Head of House tutting loudly at Elton John played in the shops for umpteenth time) and I think that's ok too, but let's not get too far ahead of ourselves. It hasn't started yet. Doesn't it cheapen it a bit lengthening Christmas to six weeks? I know I'm proabably on my own but I'm still at the stage where I'm making a list, I'm checking it twice and then I'M GETTING ON WITH SOMETHING ELSE. Sooo many other things happening before then - mock exams, craft fayre, wedding to watch, meetings to attend, Fruit of Womb Two's weekend away, good Woody Allen at the Arts Centre,decorating to do etc. etc. None of these Christmas related and, for me, none of them to be sidelined because Christmas is only a month away. And when they are done there will be Return of Fruit of Womb One, end of school term, food shop and food prep, visit of relatives, Work Christmas Do,  Carol Service, excetera, excetera - (said in Yul Brynner voice) all to be enjoyed as part of the general festivities. Like I said, I love it, all in good time.
While I am moaning though, has anyone else found it difficult to find decent Nativity Christmas Cards to send? It's like we are Puritans or something and are not allowed to represent the image of the Lord. Your choice is Leonardo de Vinci like oil painting or a card done by Mexican children for charity who are at least catching a bit of what Christmas is about. However - try getting one from M & S or Paperchase. Fat chance.

Rant over. This is what I wanted to talk about.This is Lucy. Lucy is our dog. She used to be my brother's dog and now she lives with us. For the past twelve months she has lived here quite happily. At least, we think she is happy. She eats, she runs, she plays and, given the opportunity, she chews expensive trainers. She only has two clouds on her otherwise idyllic doggy horizon. One is our other dog Morecambe. He didn't ask for her, doesn't want her and to be quite frank, wouldn't miss her, were she to win the doggy lottery and move to the Bahamas. Lucy has dealt with her rejection issues very successfully and shows her contempt by eating from Morecambe's bowl, lying in his cage, pinching the best spot on the settee and giving him fleas. (Dealt with now - never again - nightmare!)
Her other problem is - her nerves. Or Fear. Lucy is a very jumpy dog. I have no  idea where she gets it from. She has never been beaten. Occasionally she has been yelled at. (see trainers/chewing/expensive above) But that's the most that has ever happened. Lucy, however, is like a grainy black and white film of a World War 1 veteran suffering from shell shock. A tiny hand movement to scratch an itchy nose can send her scuttling from her chair in fright as if she was about to get the back of my hand (as we say up North) Lucy jumps at the noise a margarine top makes when it is snapped off the tub. She even jumps at the little noise made by an early morning slightly pumpy bottom as someone moves around the kitchen putting the kettle on. (Or so I have been told) Too much detail there - sorry.
You get the idea though. Lucy has a good doggy life to live  here. She lives in a family that loves her (well except for Morecambe). We have open fires, long walks, comfy cushions and people who really like her (except for Morecambe) and still she spends each day scared.
I have to tell you, I can really identify with her. I know what I know what I know and yet, every day I stuggle not to fear. I disappoint myself with it. When I was ill a good few years back I promised myself that I would never be scared of rubbish stuff again. You think that when really scary stuff happens, it will make you immune to worry but it hasn't. Daft stuff - What will people say if I do that? Is that idea any good? What if I try that and it's a disaster?  If I am not careful it can cripple me. I don't try new things. I don't call people in case they are thinking "What does she want now?" (They don't seem to be thinking that at all by the way) I can lose all sense of perpective if I'm not careful.
The cure? Well it's a work in progress as you will have guessed but this is the place I keep coming back to.

Isaiah 41:8
 'You're my servant, serving on my side. I've picked you. I haven't dropped you.' Don't panic. I'm with you. There's no need to fear for I'm your God. I'll give you strength. I'll help you. I'll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.

Very rough translation for my purposes -  "Man up!  You are not on your own. Do what needs to be done and see what you can achieve. You don't need to provide the strength - God does that. You'll only regret it if you don't"

Realise that Greek scholars will be spinning in graves now (at least those that are dead) but have to tell you - it works for me.

Bigger Picture Thinking

No! This is good! Honest! Come back! I understand that for some of you who attended any youth meetings in the eighties, the title of this blog will have brought you out in a cold sweat. I too attended those meetings and they are etched in my mind like a Terrible Thing sold from the Terrible Thing Sale at the Terrible Thing Shop (to paraphrase Blackadder)
These were the days when people leading from the platform thought it was the height of Spirit Filled Worship to turn to complete strangers and yell "MY CUP RUNNETH OVER TODAY SISTER!" (It wasn't) Or that we would all be released by turning to the person next to us and giving them a back-rub (We weren't) or that turning up with no sermon prepared would give the Spirit room to move amongst us. (It didn't)
These were nervous times for me because my then boyfriend who was one day going to be blessed enough to become Head of House would often feel that some of the more outlandish suggestions from the front merited an answer from the congregation. (A loud answer) I can feel the prickles of embarassment up and down my neck as I am typing. I know I am a miserable sort but I am happy in my misery and to be fair - I was never the most enthusiastic youth leader.
Anyway - to get back to bigger picture thinking. Have a look at the photo at the top. Darn purdy ain't it? (Puts hands on hips in manner of dancer from Oklahoma) Lovely sweet photo of a squirrel in our park. La la la. However, if I knew how to work the camera properly and was able to pan out and take a photo of the bigger picture (see what I did there?) you would be able to see that this photo should be re-titled. "The Smell of Fear". Because at the bottom of this tree two Jack Russells are snarling, barking and trying to climb up and reach said squrrel and tear it limb from limb. In fact, if it weren't for Head of House doing sterling work by continually dragging them away - I am convinced that they would have worked out how to give each other a leg up to reach the poor thing.
Bigger picture thinking. Accepting that not everything is exactly as it seems at first. That person who really gets on your nerves by behaving so appallingly - is there a possibility that there is something going on in their life that you know nothing about? Something that means they can just about keep their head above water enough to funtion and not much else? That person with the  dodgy lifestyle choices who is never going to get on the front cover of "Really Good Lovely Christian People" magazine. Maybe she was making even worse lifestyle choices a year ago and is, in fact making real progress. That person who seems to go out of their way to make your life a misery? Maybe so miserable in their own skin and consumed with jealousy because they feel you are so comfortable in yours. (Believe it or not) I think you probably get the idea.
If I said now that it took me a long time to come round to the idea that its not all about me and how I perceive things, then if you listened closely you would be able to hear angels laughing snorty laughs because Heaven knows very well that I am nowhere near that level of self awareness. But, in the spirit of
Matthew 7:12
So, in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you..

If you want people's understanding of your bigger picture even if you can't say what it is, then we have to try and think that others may have an unseen bigger picture as well and act accordingly. It may mean not being judgemental. It may mean counting to ten and smiling. It may mean keeping my your big trap shut as they say in the Royal Family. Kindness - that's the key.

I would just like to point out that no furry animals were harmed during the production of this blog. In fact, after several hours of specialist squirrel counselling, we were able to prize its little claws off the tree one by one and we are expecting it to come down by Christmas. Probably.

I think we all sin by needlessly disobeying the apostolic injunction to "rejoice" as much as by anything else - C. S. Lewis
Have a rejoicy week everyone. (I think you will find it IS a real word actually.)

A Normal Week

If you have come here for spiritual support, this is probably not the week. Sorry. Ever have one of those weeks when you check that you are not a week's holiday missing? It has been a week severely lacking in glittering celebrity moments and more than once I have found myself thinking "I bet Liberace never had to live like this." I think we've all been there.
This week fruit of Womb Two set off for school on Tuesday only for me to receive a call from the school nurse about an hour later. "She doesn't feel well and she says she feels sick. Actually she is a strange colour." I'm at work with no transport but it's ok because I can phone her dad. Except HE HASN'T TURNED HIS MOBILE ON - AGAIN. Head of House doesn't really like mobile phones - that's ok. Far be it from me to lecture anyone about living in this century rather than one where people people wear crinolines, play the piano as their only entertainment and Colin Firth dives into pools. He is entitled to his foibles. We all are. EXCEPT WHEN IT INCONVENIENCES ME! So, after using my Hiawatha-like skills to track him down, he collects the girl and she clearly isn't well. Apparently, we later find out that half the population of the school is evacuating their lunches and the school nurse is getting a bit wobbly with it all.  About this time I begin to feel a bit head-achy and nauseous. It's going to be a long week.
Trip to see The Cloonster in Ides of March is derailed for this week at least. Ah well. Head of House has been on nights all week which is a bit weird. I have this fantasy of going to bed alone in posh PJs with hot chocolate (don't know why - don't really like it) and a copy of Shakespeare. In reality, I am woken at 2.30am as mobile buzzes. (Email from Next  2.30am- what is that about?) I have taken mobile upstairs for extra alarm insurance in case mine doesn't work. When I wake up - I momentarily think that, as I always expected would one day happen, I am being attacked by giant spider which is sitting on my face. Turns out to be the Georgette Heyer Murder Mystery I was reading when I fell asleep.As I said. A Normal but somehow Long week.
Fruit of Womb One is settling in  in York. I have to tell you that usually I ask permission to share things my kids do with you as it's only fair I think. However- he's not here so "le titty - i'll est tough" as they sometimes say in France. So the church he is going to in York is St Michael Le Belfry. Very famous, Spirit led, student friendly church. One of the things it is most famous for is being so close to York Minster - about five yards away. All I'll say is that two of them couldn't find it - after having visited once already.  York Minster. I'm fairly certain you can see it from space!! Young people eh?