Random musings of the sick of the palsy

Hello. Sorry for prolonged absence but have been ill. Not too much detail but the word gastric may be helpful. Looking on the bright side - at least my rings aren't as tight and I may get away without taking my new work skirt back to get a bigger size. My whole week was messed up because I wasn't supposed to mix with anyone till 48 hours clear (Tad too much detail there possibly) That means a trip to Taunton (For business but never been, so was thinking might be good), a pensions seminar (mind numbing but important) taking minutes at a church meeting and a Comms team were all rendered impossible. Bah! I am not very good at being ill. I am bad tempered and full of doom. I never understand people who luxuriate in illness by snuggling and watching movies. That is my loss I think. I did catch up on Rev which we had recorded but that was quite depressing. I know it's supposed to be warts and all but good grief. And why were all the lady vicars such donks? Everyone was very good in it though. Especially Tom Hollander. 
Anyway, onwards. Above is my Mothers' Day present from the offspring. Just got round to framing it. I have to admit that I chose it.Still counts as a present right? It's from a site www.preditos.com which has stylish and in no way creepy scripture gifts and things. I grew up with scripture wall art either involving photos of puppies for Jesus or lonely harbours with seagulls swooping with a usually inappropriate Bible verse shoved somewhere in the top right hand corner. Well, as seagulls swooping round here is a sign to cover your head or your fish and chips, I think this site is nicer. 

We are now officially in the middle of exam season again so quite tense here. However, revision (and my belly) allowing, the three of us are hoping to go for a meal Sunday night as it's our wedding anniversary. We are forgoing the romantic dinner for two because we have managed to sneak in a day away in London on our own in July so we are feeling generous. 23 years! And they said it wouldn't last. Well only my mother said that actually and to be fair she had been fed some duff information by one of HOH's exes. 

Look Up

I don't suppose there is anything new here. Anything we don't know already. It is still very powerful to see it.

God continues to wag his finger at me

....in a smiley loving way.

Something to further increase my humility and to convince me that my pomposity (probably NOT a word) makes God snigger.

I am always a bit suspicious of people who see God everywhere. Not the people who see him in Nature etc but those who say things like "God has used that pork sausage to bless me" You know the kind of thing. I am a bit old fashioned - in many ways. Indeed you should see my wardrobe. I feel comfy if a revelation from God is from scripture, backed up with preaching or a prophetic word and if possible followed by a cosmic sign - rainbow, finger pointing from heaven, audible voice that makes people fall to the ground in fear - that kind of thing.

So when someone told me this week that something a nurse had said to them this week, just in passing, had been a word from God, I was a bit sceptical. I didn't point and laugh in their face or anything. Just a bit underwhelmed. Later on, while walking the pooch, I remembered something.

A few years ago, I had a job I hated.I felt bullied by the boss. My self confidence was at rock bottom.  Every day as I went to work, I felt my stomach tighten. I felt under so much pressure. However, we had bills to pay and a family to support and HOH was hanging in there in his job too,  so I kept going. (While looking for something else) I remember one day being almost in total despair and saying to God. "You cannot care for me the way you say you do. I feel totally alone and abandoned. Have I failed you in some way that has made you leave?" and lots of other self pitying stuff. In my defence though. I really did feel that I had been abandoned and had "lost" the love of God in some way. The place I worked had a radio and they played a song by Plain White Ts. It had the line...

"Oh what you do to me.... what you do to me."

I think you had to be there to understand but I knew, it was God. No really. I knew. God could not get to me any other way so he used a cutesy little pop song to tell me how he felt about me. I went outside into the car park and cried like a baby. Not long after that I found something else.

I may smile uncertainly at people who count the number of times their dog barks in the night as a sign that they are to lead the singing in the worship but I think once again, I am aware that I don't know it all.

Really not too old

This is one of my favourite films of all time. It is one of the films that HOH and I fell in love to. I am not going to go through my favourite bits as we would be here all day. Just one bit leads on to what I wanted to say. There is a scene where Steve Martin is trying to impress astronomer and super brain Daryl Hannah with his scientific knowledge (Why am I so afraid of her? It's not as if she is a rocket scientist or anything.Reply.. Actually she IS a rocket scientist.) Anyway after mouthing off for a few minutes he has to admit he doesn't know the answer to a question. She smiles and graciously replies "Well we don't know everything then do we?"

Sometimes I feel like I do know everything. Not in a big me up kind of way but in a jaded sort of way. When you have been a Christian for a long time, you can sometimes feel that there is nothing new under the sun. Almost like you are too old to learn anything (and not in a good way) So God kicked my butt a couple of times this weekend (In a majestic, Godlike kind of way) and I thought I would tell you things I had learnt and not noticed before.

Firstly have started reading Pen Wilcock's The Road of Blessing. One chapter in and loving it. Will talk about bit more when I have finished. But one line really made me think. She talks about the feeding of the five thousand and casually says that the miracle was actually done by the disciples. Jesus blessed the loaves and fishes so obviously there is the God bit but the disciples gave it all out. They were the people who made it happen. As they did as Jesus said and began to give the bread out they will have felt and seen the miracle happen between their own fingers. Challenges me a bit about my role in making God's will happen. AM I spending too much time whinging and not enough time asking God what he wants me to DO about it. 

Secondly, at church on Sunday, Andy spoke on The Last Supper - specifically about the washing of feet. After some rather unsavoury talk about verrucas and fungal infections, he pointed out that Judas was invited to the supper and, as he didn't leave until later on, Jesus would have washed his feet. Knowing what he knew - Jesus still did that. I never noticed that before. I dunno what was going on here. Jesus giving Judas one last chance, even though he knew what was in his heart? Jesus' humility being shown as an example. Or as a lesson to us about judging? Jesus still prepared to serve someone who was a betrayer, a sinner. Not to cast him out but to accept him with all the others? 

All this has made me quite cheery. I am aware that I don't have it all sorted but I love that fact that there is still loads of help out there for me and that God still shows people things that they need.  Anyone who knows me knows that I can do with all the help I can get.

Seriously?

There are sooooo many times when I am proud to be a Christian - in a non sinful humble sort of way obvs. Everything about Jesus makes me pleased and yes proud to have my name associated with his. Yet sometimes Christians make me go "Really?" 

You have probably heard of Vicky Beeching. You will almost certainly have sung her songs including "Yesterday, Today and Forever". These days she is probably better known as a social commentator with a strong stance on women in the church (Or anywhere really - she would describe herself as a feminist) and same sex marriage which she is in favour of.

I know very little about Ms Beeching as a person or a Christian. I follow her on Twitter though and I find her approach to her Christianity both thoughtful and graceful. I may or may not agree with everything she says but ultimately that is irrelevant because we worship the same God and we should be gentle and caring to one another.

Why then does someone who calls themselves a Christian feel it is ok to send her this photo when she has expressed her views about controversial subjects

It will not do you know, it will not do at all. It is disgusting cheap bullying. I thought long and hard about even reproducing this but these people need calling out. Just stop for a moment and imagine Jesus with a roll of gaffer tape. Unrolling a strip, biting it off and sticking to a person's face. struggling with that image? You should be - it is the very antithesis of all that Jesus came for.

In my more generous moments I am thinking that these people think that they are upholding Christian principles. But these generous moments pass pretty quickly. We should be different, full of grace, preferring the other person, slow to wound and quick to bless. These are the standards we uphold. These are the principles that should govern us. Twitter is full of anonymous bullies. But not the Children of God surely? 

Colossians 3:12

The Message (MSG)

12-14 So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.