Tulip Me Up!

It's a good job I am not religious about Mothers' Day because something has gone terribly wrong in here. I have seen all the lovely stuff in the magazines about Mums having breakfast in bed or lolling about all day in their dressing gowns. This has NOT happened here. Firstly - we have a severe shortage of offspring today. Some nonsense about University. So I am building up an intimate relationship with Moonpig. For those who don't know - Moonpig is an Internet card sending company which allows people to order and send cards without mauling about in Clintons or picking up a biro. They also guarantee next day delivery for those who despite numerous subtle texts, wake up in a cold sweat 24 hours before deadline day and no way of getting to Town to slam a card in the post box. Moonpig is blessed by all children who live away from home.

Secondly, the NHS insisted on calling staff into work today so the only other person who could spend the day serving my every need is at the hospital for the morning serving lots of other people's needs. Fair enough - they do pay him (a bit) and he left some flowers by proxy before he went.

So, in the absence of anyone to call me Mother - it is my turn to call someone else Mother so Aged Parent - who has had a chest infection and could probably live without a partaay is forced to come and eat Sunday lunch with us (I have to say - for someone with a post infection appetite - she did very well.) So that was all very nice. 

I appreciate all the lovely thoughts and messages, I really do and some of the things I have read on Facebook are equally edifying. However (and it's only a small however) I am sometimes a little disturbed by this Mother's Day juggernaut. I love my kids more than life itself and I don't say that lightly but I am aware that today is also full of people who have lost their children (Aged Parent being a case in point) and those who have never had children - sometimes longed for - sometimes not. Also there are those for whom the term "Mother" means only sadness and maybe even abuse. There are also those who have lost a much loved Mother. Today is a really painful day for lots of people. I am not saying that I want to rain on all the happy mothers' parades. We don't have to apologise for being who we are and Motherhood is a fantastic thing.  Just, a bit of sensitivity, you know and also remember that the fact that we are mothers doesn't make us any better than anyone else. Women, sometimes get to feel bad about themselves if don't fit cultural norms (whatever one of them is) and Christian women sometimes seem to suffer more than most but we are loved - as we are  - whether we have given birth or not. We are whole and complete in the God who loves us. We have nothing to prove and no Hallmark Card to live up to. 

And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power (Col 2)

What to do about Brexit?

So have you decided? Do we stay or do we go? I think I know which way I will go but I don't think I have anyone else to that for that. I mean no-one seems to have the faintest idea do they? Not the news, not the newspapers (all of whom have taken the stance that their owners have taken and are the writing the news accordingly, which is what they usually do) So then you look at the personalities involved. Who do I trust? You see, for me, it doesn't help that the initial gang looked like what my Grandad used to call "The End of the Pier Show."

See what I mean? Hello! - normal people out here trying to make an informed decision. Then when we look at the politics. There's Michael Gove who makes every teacher I know make a sort of involuntary noise like a balloon being let down. And Priti Patel who seems unable to make a full sentence on Question Time. And that woman who never blinks. Then there's Ian Duncan Smith. A man whose plan for reducing the benefits bill seems to involve making a lot of sick people work until they die. We haven't even got to George Galloway - singlehandedly adding to the gaiety of the nation with that hat and pronouncements about "No" not always meaning "No". But then it's not as if anyone on the other side is any better. George Osborne says leaving will harm the economy. But he doesn't know. How can he know? One - because we have never done it and Two because The Economy seems to do what it flamin well wants most of the time which accounts for Osborne's permanently surprised expression I suppose.
Then there's  Immigration. Europe is making such a cock up of the whole thing and we are one of the few countries who can pull up the drawbridge and back off from it. But it doesn't feel right to do that does it? While these poor people are fleeing from these homicidal maniacs,  just silently thanking God for the English Channel and then going about our own jolly business seems a bit off to me.
Also there's security. Apparently, if we withdraw, Interpol will take their ball home and not tell us about possible terrorist attacks and will laugh behind their hands when it happens. Seems a bit selfish. So much to think about. 
And finally and it's not finally because there is ages to go yet - Scotland's First Minister Nicola Sturgeon has said that if we leave Scotland will be demanding another Independence Referendum. No. Please Lord No. Not again.

The Introverted Charismatic

I have read his and enjoyed it - indeed I have but I have been thinking about why I liked it. I'm basically your go-to person for introversion. I like people but sometimes I find them a bit intimidating. Most of the time I would rather be pootling around at home and doing a bit of reading. However, I have attended a charismatic church since I was fifteen. This is despite the fact that some of the most terrifying words in the English Language for me are "Turn to the person next to you and..." or "Tonight we are going to do something a bit different." 

When I was a bit younger, it used to bother me that people who were more comfortable with some of the more energetic expressions of worship would sometimes look down on me. I have lost track of how many people have come over to me during times of worship and offer to pray for my release. It used to make me feel so bad about myself I would sometimes toy with offering to help these people release their heads from their shoulders. Those days are long gone and I am who I am much more often now. (For the record the most profound God-like prayer that anyone ever prayed for me came in the middle of a meeting when a lady came up and said "Can I pray for you please? I promise I won't go mad.")

 

So why would I choose to be in a church  where there will always be a possibility that things might become a bit - er jolly? Well first of all, I do have to qualify things a bit. I have been in charismatic meetings where the Bible is a foreign land because we are just going to groove along and see what happens. Ain't going to work for me I'm afraid. I need a certain amount of structure and I am there to learn - from other people and from the Bible. If there doesn't come a point when you put your flag down, it is unlikely that you are my kind of church. That being said though, why would a shy retiring sort like myself be here at all? Firstly, just because I don't always like it does that mean it is wrong? Sometimes I think I need to ask myself - do I need to respond to God here? Is it in a public way? Do I need to support someone else as they respond? And sometimes the answer God wants from me is "Yes". 

Secondly, I think I have to be where the action is. By that I mean where God is speaking to people - today. Where people are prayed for and healed. Where people see miracles. I tend not to get intimidated these days if my worship doesn't fit your worship and graciously I would say that before you tell me that I need to be a bit more like you,  you perhaps need to be working on your own eye speck while I work on this whacking great log that is blocking my vision. Mark Tanner, the author of this book says that people like me are a gift to the church. I think I am probably more the sort of gift like bath cubes or a vase that doesn't fit anywhere that you think you can probably do without. But God says not. He says that us quiet ones have our place and it is with you - worshiping him out of my truth. Now put your maracas down and lets get on as equals.

Trying to get hold of it

So I'm casting my mind back to the mid seventies. I'm in church on Sunday nights wrestling manfully with a tambourine that has taken against me and a floppy hat that keeps going wonky. And we are singing. This was pre Hillsong, pre Matt Redman and this was considered quite funky. 

 "The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.

 The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty, is mighty, is miiiiiiiighteeee!"

(Thanks very much - I'm here all week)

It's from Zephaniah 3. How does it feel? Thinking that God "Joys Over You With Singing?" Most of the time I don't think the God looks at me and thinks - "There's someone I would like to Joy Over." It's the age old challenge - learning to see ourselves through God tinted glasses. I need to remind myself - I don't deserve this yet there it is. The mightiest mighty God - rejoices and joys - over me and over you. Just because he is who he is. It helps I think, to get a hold of that. Just thought we needed reminding. Dunno why.

Thank you

Hello, just a small shout out to says thanks for all your good wishes etc. I am feeling much better now but it was really horrible for a while - even my knees hurt. I am not one of those people who bangs on the doctor's door demanding antibiotics all the time but I gave it some thought this time tbh. Anyway much better now and hopefully will get back to a bit of writing this week. Am leaving you with photo of my handsome son playing in Battle of The Bands in York. The music isn't exactly my kind of thing, if I am being totally frank but the young people seem to like it. Also this is on it's way. Hurrah! Just loving these books.