Its all gone Quite Dark Again.

Thank the Lord for the flippin' Durrells - that's what I say. My Family and Other Animals is one of my favourite books so adaptations make me nervous but this was great. It is a ray of sunshine in a sea of programmes where people are having horrible things happen to them. HOH follows them all - he especially likes a Scandi drama. But even he came into the kitchen after watching Marcella - the new drama with Anna Friel - and remarked "Good grief - that was nasty." Of course he said she was very good, which she obviously is and it's written really well but I'm just not bothering with it. Same with Line of Duty - you know, when the Film "Seven" had a severed head in it, it was so shocking every one I knew talked about it for days. Now we'll be getting them in Blue Peter soon, along with the obligatory tortured/imprisoned female. I really miss Morse sometimes.
Anyway - while I am ranting. Be careful what you wish for drama wise. I stopped watching The Night Manager because halfway through the second episode I realised that I had read it. (Pin sharp as usual, I am) I had read it and not enjoyed it. I thought the ending was downbeat and unsatisfying and SPOILERS - the baddie did not get what was coming to him. So when I heard that they had changed the end, I sat down and had a watch and, indeed they tied a lot of loose ends up and everything was all rosy and.. and.. I didn't like it! Maybe the end was meant to be less than satisfying. Maybe when someone writes a story they have that unhappy ending running silently through it so anything else jars a bit. I don't know. Anyway - for the record I am probably the only person in the universe to say this but I didn't think Hugh Laurie was all that as the villain. I thought he did "deranged genius" really well in House but I just couldn't see him as the kingpin of an international arms group. Quite frankly, he never looks as if he can be bothered to put in the amount of effort that being an international criminal would take. Just my opinion. Nothing to get worked up about. 

Flagging

Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls! Heb 12

Is it Christian to flag - a bit - sometimes? I think it must be. Do you know how I know? Because the Bible tells us not to flag and therefore, people must have been flagging if God had to tell them not to flag. Oh do keep up at the back!
I don't know about you but it has seemed like a long winter here. Not that it has been extra cold or anything because it hasn't. It just seems to have dragged on. We have seen a few changes here at Martha Towers what with the FOWs leaving home. (Although one is back at the moment - pretending to revise) HOH and I get on pretty well all things considered but the sprogs moving on has caused me to be a bit weird in the odd small dose. A friend warned me this would happen a few years ago. She went into a full on depression when hers left. I'm not sure I have gone that far, for which I am grateful, rather than giving myself any credit, but there is certainly a sense of "What now?"
I'm not talking about HOH and I not enjoying what our parents used to call "A Nice Drive Out" - without any eye rolling or tutting -  we intend to do lots of that but when you have spent a good proportion of your energy looking after the FOWs and then they are gone it is a bit - well sad. And I have flagged. Yes I have. I am normally a cheerful sort, my attitude IS gratitude but I have found myself asking about the way forward. Of course, asking God is the last thing I think to do - I usually like to leave praying about something until I have reached desperation levels. It's a little quirk of mine that probably drives God quite bonkers. But I am sort of asking now - whither am I to go? (Sorry - gone a bit Friendly Persuasion there) I don't suppose that this is anything that millions of parents before me haven't experienced but there you are. I am nothing if not unoriginal!

Easter Thinking (4) The Lord is Risen Indeed

I thought a bit about the Resurrection. About the reality of the Resurrection. I struggle a bit with pictures of glowing cloaks and a half naked Jesus stepping on soldiers and waving a flag. I like this Caravaggio about the meal on the road to Emmaus. I like that Jesus looks a bit careworn.The events of the last few days maybe having taken a toll. I like the split second of recognition on the faces of the disciples and the way their hands are almost touching. I also think the two extra people in the painting are interesting - one looks like he will take a bit more convincing thank you very much and the lady looks so worn down by life that she is not sure how much difference this will make to her anyway.

It is interesting, I think, how we react to the miraculous in this life. even the most pivotal and important miracle. It's like our reaction to the tumour that is no longer on the x-ray, the last child pulled from the rubble of an earthquake, the second chance given to the plane crash survivor. 

This was a hard fought for miracle. It didn't come easily. Victory did not fall into the lap of Jesus. Yet still, victory it was. How it affects though depends on what we do with it. We step into it and it reflects in how we live our lives or it doesn't. 

Today was Jesus' day of victory. Now we have to go away and make the chance we have been given mean something for us and those we are called to love.

Easter Thinking (3) - Easter Saturday

Holbein

It's always darkest just before the dawn -  or something. So today was the day before the big day. We know that now, so it's easy to be all full of faith about the promise now. Because we are here all these years later and we know it happened. Harder I think for the followers of Jesus at the time. There were perhaps a few obtuse prophecies - half remembered - about the temple or Jesus returning. But all they had for the moment were nightmares about what they had seen yesterday and a dead body. And, because of the brutal times in which they lived, they were quite aware of what a dead body looked like, thank you very much. This man was most definitely dead - none of this swooning nonsense that some people waffle about these days. He has been tortured and killed. No one could deny that.
And the day lasted just as long as every other day. No clues, no encouragement, just tears and bewilderment. What was that all about then? So they made some arrangements, perhaps to get together and pray. A bit half hearted maybe and not everyone would be there. Peter seemed to have gone back to his old life. So Mary Magdalene and some of the other women made arrangements to go and embalm the body - not check if he had risen by the way - look after his dead body. They would meet early in the morning, as soon as sabbath was over. 
And all the time, while the tiniest grains of faith were still binding them as friends, nudging them to pray and to stand their ground in their everyday lives, the miracle was approaching. As each minute passed it was getting nearer and nearer. No warning, no signs but it was on its way.

 When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices so they could embalm him. Very early on Sunday morning, as the sun rose, they went to the tomb.

Easter Thinking (2) - Good Friday

Chagal. White Crucifixion.. Chicago Art Institute

I'm not really up for writing about the Crucifixion. I don't have the skills. There have been countless poets and hymn writers who have got a lot closer than me. So I'm not going to do it. Write about the Crucifixion I mean. It's too much for me and I am useless. I did want to say a couple of things though. 
Firstly, I'm really glad that "It's Friday but Sunday's coming" Well, obviously it is but it is still Friday. And, if it's all the same to you, I would like to spend at least a portion of this day thinking on the horror that Jesus experienced. I'm not too keen on pretending that the darkness is never worth dwelling on for more than a millisecond. Partly because I think it does Jesus a dis-service but also, if we refuse to face the fact of a darkness full on, how can we identify with those who weep or mourn? Look how this darkness threw Peter. The night before when he had promised undying loyalty and love, Jesus had told him what would happen.

 “Don’t be so sure,” Jesus said. “This very night, before the rooster crows up the dawn, you will deny me three times.”

And that's exactly what Peter did - a full throated, expletive filled denial in the end. And Peter was overcome. Overcome at his own weakness, and his inability to amount to anything after all the promising and the enthusiasm. He was so overcome that he completely forgot the rest of what Jesus had said to him. 

"But after I am raised up, I, your Shepherd, will go ahead of you, leading the way to Galilee.”

Jesus would come back, and would lead him and Peter would be restored. Peter was blinded to all this, so that on this day of days when Peter had said that he would be there for Jesus, he was nowhere to be found.

Later on, all this would be fulfilled of course but for now Peter was absent as his friend was tortured and killed. The fear had overcome him and he felt there was no way back. Good Friday reminds us that sometimes, for some, all seems lost and hope struggles to get a look in and it makes us go missing from God. People are having those times now as well. Hope seems lost, the darkness overwhelms, we are weak and afraid. Sometimes, as Christians we can be guilty of bellowing "Be Of Good Cheer!" at people (Christianese for "Buck Up") and then leaving it at that. Today of all days is a time when we can at least, gently rub the back of someone's hand and acknowledge the fact of the darkness for a time.