The Power of Failure

Unless you have been living down a hole on the planet Zog, you will be aware that the exam results season has just drawn to a close. Male Fruit of Womb sorted his own results out this year - something about his entire future depending on it being done properly. To be quite honest, I could be quite insulted by this. No gratitude today's young people. OK so when I picked his GCSEs up - I did get a bit lost in the school - I'll give you that. And, embarrassingly, when I asked the way to the room where the results were I was actually standing in the doorway of the room in question. BUT, it was really badly signposted. And, I did get the results back safe and sound - eventually. Anyway, as I said he got his own results this year. (Hope you are keeping up - you will need to concentrate)  However, Fruit of Womb Two also had some results to collect this year. I will digress here actually if that's OK with you (There's not  lot you can do about it to be honest) I do need to say that in my day, there were CSEs, GCSEs and A levels. You took the first two then, two years later, if you so desired, you took A levels. Now people seem to be taking exams every twenty minutes or so. It's very difficult for your average parent to keep up.
So, with our offspring away, it fell to me to collect the Girl's exam results. The difference this time was that she would rather that I didn't. Because she had already taken a sort of double dog dare mock exam thingy in science as part of the multi layered exam life that teenagers live in. What you have to know about our Girl is that science doesn't exactly float her boat. She loves English and Media and Literature. She looks forward to the day when all her study life revolves around these subjects. You probably also need to know that in her Chemistry mock she was the not very proud possessor of a "U".
It was a shock - the U. She wasn't used to it. At this point she had a choice. She knew that she was never going to win the Nobel Prize for Chemistry but did she want to be looking at the U letter when she opened the real exam results? So, she decided to do something about it. She gave up lunch hours to go to extra lessons. She went online to find out the answer to questions she didn't understand and she revised for England. At this point - I would love to tell you that she developed a deep passionate love for Chemistry and is, at this very moment, working with top people to develop a self tan product that doesn't need all the streaky bits rubbing off with a loofah. But that would be a lie. She went into the exam as well prepared as she could be and came out of it feeling a bit better than she did the last time but questions about how well she thought she had done were answered with an non committal "Haven't the foggiest"
As results day approached there were lots of conversations like this
Moi   If you are away, please leave a letter for me to pick up your results.
Her   No need. I don't need to know.
Moi   Yes you do. It's your future. It's important
Her   Not if Daniel Radcliffe comes and whisks me away.
Moi   Unlikely. Do the letter.
Her   (Warming to her subject) Or I get a place at RADA
Moi   Even more unlikely, you haven't applied. I've done the letter. Sign it if you want to live.

The day went without a hitch. (Well I did arrive two hours early and I did get lost in the school - a bit) And I opened the letter and sitting there was a luscious A* in Chemistry.
You probably know this but maybe you need to hear it. It really isn't the failure. It's what you do with it. Do you resolve never to have another go in case you faff it up or do you grab your underpants with both hands, pull them up and give sorting it everything you have? Christians serve the God of the Second Chance. There is always a way back. Sometimes you have to work your way through stuff to get it right. But, the feeling you get when you open the envelope with the right result after it had all gone wrong is the best feeling in the world.

Bank Holiday Blogging

It's the last Bank Holiday of the year before Christmas. Head of House is ministering to the needy in hospital. (They are paying him double time for it) Offspring are still recovering from sleeping in tents for a week so are both in bed. Big treat to get up early and spend decadent hour perusing favourite sites on T'Internet before the day gets going. Have just spent happy hour on moneysaving expert My favourite bits are the old style saving forums. They are running something at the moment called "Preparing for Winter" There are people out there stocking up on candles, pyjamas and slippers, Lemsip etc. They are sewing insulating blinds for the bottom of the stairs and the windows, they are making jams and chutneys and generally being proper home makers. I am hanging my head in shame. It is a good idea. The last couple of winters in Devon have been shockers. When we first moved here two snowflakes within twenty minutes would mean a Spotlight special with Justin Lee in a bobby hat and scarf on a motorway bridge keeping an eye out for the coming apocalypse. Now, we are aware that it could actually get quite cold out there. Still, it is quite difficult to believe when you have had your first cup of coffee happily sitting on the garden tool box in the sunshine, reflecting on how much your "cut and come" lettuce actually "cut and came" this year. Still I will try. Will make a list. Will check it twice and will get all squirrely. Soon. Very soon.
Love it when kids come back from youth weeks away. Friendships have been strengthened, laughing has been done until snot has come down people's noses, relationships with God have been refreshed, squirty cream has been sprayed, fancy dress monkey costumes have been trashed. Like a sort of psychedelic heaven. This is only really what we old people used to call Fellowship. (with knobs on I know) The basic principle is the same. Getting together. Sharing. Strengthening. Praying. Learning. Eating Fish Eyes. (Alright, so the last one isn't particularly Biblical) You cannot overstate its importance.
Friends are telling me that when son leaves for uni, he will need his own kettle, toaster, microwave etc. Doesn't that just mean eight sets of each appliance in the kitchen? Why, when the website has reams of information on Viking raids into the city of York, how to join the Comedy Club and the opening times of the Nurse's station - is there nothing actually helpful? I have been assured that this will be setting the tone for the next three years. Ah well, his problem, not mine.
Lastly, you know I love a tip - Don't sleep in a wet vest - that kind of thing. I also love a bit of thrift. I do think you can take it too far. From a Marks and Spencer book - "1000 handy household hints"
"Toddlers Pants. Discarded nappies can be turned into useful towelling pants for toddlers. Use two nappies per toddler."
I'm not sure that this isn't a false economy. You might save £1.99 on a pair of toddler shorts but how much would you need to pay out on the therapy for the poor child in later years?
Anyway. Off to get some housework done before French and Saunders come on the radio. Then I have to fit in "I was a Male war Bride". (Cary Grant - in drag. Talk about your inappropriate crushes.) Still, like to make it look as if I have been busy when Head of House gets in from work.

The examiner..

...he say yes!!!
So A level results day came and all was well. Very well in fact and now number one son's move to York is close to becoming a reality. And now it's all systems go. Loans, bank accounts, accomodation. All the things you don't like to plan ahead for, just in case. So we are off and running. Sort of. This week they are away at camp so they are pitching their tents in Dorset along with about 70 other young people. (Youth workers are one of God's greatest gifts to the world.) So that has left son's aged parents in charge of booking important accomodation things on the INTERNET. Arrrrgh! No pressure. Just hope we manage to book him accomodation at the right university. There is only one York in England-yes?
We are about to experience a week without offspring. I love my kids but there is a lot to be said for a week with a quarter of the usual amount of ironing, food prepared on the last minute or not at all if we just feel like a butty and no "Under Age and Pregnant"or Rage Against the Machine. Can't say I won't be glad to see the return of the strange smelling suitcases but this is rather nice.

I'm sorry this is a bit late this week but Morecambe decided that he would like to sleep with his head on the laptop so I left him to it. No - I have no idea either but if there is one important lesson that life has taught me - it's that you don't step on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind, you don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger and you don't mess about with Morecambe. (or something like that).
Actually there is another lesson that is absolutely, completely non negotiable. Be kind to strangers. There should be Country and Western songs written about it - there probably are. I don't mean kind in the sense that you give them your PIN number or get into their car to have a look at their puppies. I mean just kind. Case in point. This morning while dragging my sorry carcass to work I noticed an older lady making conversation with two lads who were obviously employed to sort out the front garden. No big deal - she just asked a couple of questions about carnations, that sort of thing. then off she trots. As she walks three paces away they look at each other and laugh - at her. I'm almost certain that she must have heard them. A little bit of you dies inside. Heartrendingly, their radio was playing Otis Redding singing "Try a Little Tenderness". You know, they could have been the only people she spoke to all day. What if it was your Mum or mine? Or in a few years me or you? The challenge is to live life with a level of awareness of the impact we have on those around us. There's pressure to live life under the pressures of family, friends, wrinkles, hair dye, dust balls under the bed, Vidic being unsettled at Old Trafford, a flabby belly and the million and one other things that compete for my attention. And yet the are nano seconds and sometimes that's all they are when I can make the choice to be a force for good, for nice, for gentleness. That's the challenge.

 

New King James Version Hebrews 13:2

Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels.

Ah well..

...that was the quickest fortnight ever known in the history of man but there you are. Lovely holiday now over. Other members of the family are removing sharp instruments from any room I am in. Not so much about going back to work (obviously I'm VERY keen on that) no, I always get quite wistful at the end of a holiday about the passage of time. I think it's only when you slow down that you notice how quickly the year is going. We were walking the hounds in the park last week and noticed that the leaves were falling. It's only August for goodness sake! Anyway it's no good shaking your fist at trees - it makes no difference to them and people look at you in a quizzical way before moving on as quickly as they can manage without actually running.

We were in London for some of the break as those of you who had been paying attention will know. We didn't see any rioting. We stayed in Kensington and they seemed to keep it to a minimum there. We did hear a lot of police cars the first night but to be honest, we thought it was just a case of "bright lights - big city". Well we live in Devon, and it can be a big night on Spotlight news if a sheep gets stuck on a railway line.  So, apart from some disruption to the Tube, we saw nothing. On the holiday front, highlights included "Warhorse". It's difficult to explain why it is so good. It's a play about horses.. er in the war which are realised using puppets and it involves a lot of folk singing and "interesting" West Country accents. I know it doesn't sound promising but ten minutes in you forgot the horses were puppets and it swept you along. Quite brutal in places. I had to fight the desire to run on to the stage and cut the bloomin' horse free from the barbed wire myself at one point but certainly a night to remember. We also spent a day at Camden which is quite scary but excellent. Also, quite possibly the worst meal of my life eaten at Garfunkel's. Not expecting the moon from there as you will apppreciate but waiter seemed to have trained at the Fawlty Towers School of Service. Actually witheld the tip, which I have never done and enjoyed doing it too. Small victory but somehow, pleasing.
We also rescued the dogs from the kennels when we got back (or the kennels from the dogs depending on your point of view) It was quite tense picking them up because we had neglected to mention that they don't get on terribly well in a confined space and we had told them that they would be fine in the same pen. Look its 10% off if they share and we're not made of money. Anyway, they were both alive when we got there so we paid and ran for it. Lucy, unfortunately for her, had a problem with her anal glands which involved a trip to the vets, rubber gloves and a lot of wincing on her part (and on Head of House's part as well if I am honest) I didn't go. I don't do vets. I know, I know, what if Head of House said that but he doesn't so keep your nose out.
We returned to church this morning to watch a montage of scenes from the riots. The one with the Malaysian guy being robbed as he was injured is almost impossible to watch. Found myslef being challenged about my involvement and relevance in my society. Sometimes church is seen as a bit wishy washy but I know that churches in the riot areas were front row centre in supporting their local community. It's not terribly fashionable to give them any credit for it. I think, a bit like the England cricket team, who could only beat what was put in front of them, even if it was only a lack lustre India team. ( I sooo love Test Match Special on the radio - bit embarassing) In sort of the same way we can only grow and serve where we are planted. Not in the middle of a riot zone always. Devon was a bit short on riots (although apparently, there was a bit of a scuffle outside Poundland) but there are plenty of opportunities to serve here or anywhere really.
Finally, I draw your attention to the piece of equipment above spotted during a lovely stroll in the park. Apparently I am supposed to step up and down on it vigorously. Two comments.
1. Why would I want to?
2. No thank you.

Sort of back

...but not quite. Am in the middle of lovely holiday thingy so will return with full update soon. However, in the light of recent events, I just wanted to share this with you.
Over the last few days I have watched events that have made me want to hang my head in shame - just as a member of the human race. To rob a man you were pretending to help, to drive a car deliberately to maim or to kill or just to have such a lack of connection to your local community that a local hairdresser is "rich" and therefore fair game - these are the things that have left a sense of hopelessness I think. I am sure that the whole thing is very complicated with many different layers and that the truth behind recent events takes a little bit from all the causes people have spoken about - hopelessness, disconnection, lack of parental authority, sense of entitlement, lack of moral direction, greed.
However, I just wanted to show you this. Last week we visited Westminster Hall. It's a 1000 year old building that has seen so many great (in the widest sense of the word) moments. It's the place where Charles the First was tried, where Winston Churchill lay in state and where Nelson Mandela addressed both political houses. It's also the site of Andy Hawthorne's recent keynote address at an MP's prayer breakfast. If you have despaired about the way forward and wondered if there is hope - look at this. It's inspiring and challenging. As usual, he is pin sharp and practical down to his finger nails. Watch and be encouraged and do something.

(Photo source BBC News)

'Tis only for a short while...

But I'm probably going to take a bit of  a break because I'm on my jolly holidays for a couple of weeks and have decided to keep deep thinking to a minimum for a bit. Am thinking of reading myself into a frenzy or getting myself super organised with the extra time. Or I may just lie down for a while. We are off to get our fix of the big city as well with a visit to London. (Cue long arguments about galleries versus other "less boring" forms of entertainment)
The weekend so far hasn't gone that well to be brutally honest - have managed to get sunburned which is against my religion and for goodness sake, it should be something I am mature enough to avoid at my time of life.
While we are away eldest Fruit of Womb turns eighteen. Was thinking how proud I am of him. (Proud in a good way not in a I'm prouder than a god and intend to take over the world - not that kind of thing obviously) No I was thinking about how clever he is and how hard he has worked. Also, its funny to see how different your children are to you and yet its still good. I see the way he has worked out his Christianity in a different way to us - his is shot through with social justice in a way that wouldn't have been encouraged when I was young (too worldly) and because of this, I think his generation may achieve more for God than other generations. He's also smart and funny and reminds me of his Dad and that is a very very "good thing". I expect we will hardly miss him at all when he leaves.
Speaking of achievements - John Stott passed away this week. To many he was the father of modern evangelism - a title he didn't seek just lived up to. Makes you feel you are playing at it. Even the Guardian gave him a good obit and its not a newspaper known for its pro-Christian opinions.
Just wanted to say thank you for those of you kind enough to comment on Facebook and here on the blog. You have no idea how encouraging it is.
So that's it for now. Don't forget me - I shall be back to pester you but until then - Hit it Cliff!
"We're all going on a....."

In through the nose..

..and out through the mouth. And breathe.

So listen. Its a week until my annual leave and when I look at my "to do before I go"  list at work it makes me come over all "fainting Victorian lady" but here I am anyway. Calming myself through the power of breathing and typing. This does not necessarily mean this will be particularly coherent so brace yourself.

Been a bit challenged on "kindness" this week. Those who know me at all know that I believe that kindness has a supernatural element in it. It's a Fruit of the Spirit and I have always thought that being kind released God to make great things happen in situations. Indeed I have seen this for myself. However, I have found out that kindness is not always welcome and is sometimes taken as a sign of weakness leading people to treat you badly. This was a bit of a shock to me. (I know. I need to get out more) but, thinking about it, I still believe that this is God's way - to be kind. So you have to just carry on with it, believing that it will make a difference in the end. Don't know why I'm moaning. Very nice lady kindly bought me a bunch of flowers to cheer me up.

Have spent happy morning at a car boot sale. I do like rummaging. Offspring Two came with us but she is a bit wary because some of the people there have several teeth missing and look as if they have been the subject of a Crimewatch reconstruction. Still, she brought Fleetwood Mac on vinyl home so she was happy, as was Head of House who returned with Motown vinyl and something to stick under hall rugs to stop them slipping. (Breaking News for Head of House. You were robbed. Carpet is still migrating under door and tripping up all comers. Sorry.) I like china. (Not so much the county - more the crockery) and came home with some Blue and White (anything that doesn't have people on it. I'm not so keen on Willow Pattern) for 20p. Bargain! I also got some old plates for BBQs on the beach. I hate paper plates on the beach. I keep dropping stuff and I think eating BBQed chicken off vintage plates is very civilised. (Fortunately for you, only I can hear everyone in the house laughing at me - so i will ignore them) I do like a bit of shabby chic which is one reason why people think our dog Lucy is called Cath Kidson. See photo above.

Spent some time reading a few blogs about diet. Some people are apparently re-thinking the macrobiotic approach as too extreme and are moving away from it. Now they are allowing themselves treats like hummus on brown bread etc. This may be a loosy-goosy approach to diets for these healthy people but it still makes my diet look like a wheelbarrow full of lard. How does anyone live without crisps and Cadbury's Wholenut? I mean, I'm not a fool. Its weekends only (Unless it's on offer at the Co-op) but surely everyone needs a treat? Working out what to eat and serve the family without killing them off is a nightmare. In case you didn't see it among all the proper news, drinking eight glasses of water a day is not only not particularly good for your skin, weight, brain etc as was formerly thought but it can actually kill you! The time to drink is when you are er.. thirsty. Who knew? How do you get young people who can put up a convincing argument that mushrooms are of the devil to eat healthily? Beats me. Head of House is off to get weekend fish and chips.

Too much news this week. Horrible stuff. Always a bit shocked to see people saying Amy Winehouse brought it on herself. Well, I suppose so but surely, there but for the Grace of God go any of us? Given a different set of circumstances - how many of us can be totally sure we wouldn't end up the same way?

PS Last week Fruit of Womb One spent approximately 15 seconds trying to set up Facebook page for me as a writer. Apparently, this is what people do and I can put stuff on there - writey sorts of things and maybe on Twitter. ( I am on Twitter but only to stalk Danny Baker and Steve Martin) Also if you "like" the page it is apparently easier to let you know about postings. (possibly) Anyway, he lost interest when "Have I Got Old News For You" came on but I don't know whether its worth finishing. Describing myself as a writer seems a bit over the top. Any thoughts? Will think about it and get back to you. Promise this will be more coherent and indeed spiritually helpful next time. Almost certainly.

If you've never made a mistake..

..then you've never tried.

As so often happens Tom Jones was right when he said "Its not unusual" and indeed it isn't unusual for me to have messed up. My motives were good. Time together as a family. So when free tickets were available for an evening out together, my interest was stirred as you can imagine. The event was "Cinema in the City" - a showing of Blade Runner outdoors at the Lido - Plymouth's beautiful old outdoor pool. This evening would combine culture, supporting a local event and a flippin' good film. What could possibly go wrong? Well quite a lot as it happens. Firstly the event was on the same night as a bbq the offspring wanted to attend. However, we weighed it up and as we spend at least three nights a week ferrying them to events all over Devon and as family evenings together may be more difficult to come by after October, we decided to issue a three line whip and insist that they come with us. This does mean, however, that the pressure is on to produce a fairly entertaining event, as they are missing something they would prefer to be at.
Things started to go wrong when the weather changed mid-week. "Changeable" was the phrase used by the man in the 1980s suit who does the weather. "Apocalyptic" may have been more accurate. Still, we wouldn't let a little thing like the weather put us off. So, we wrapped up and off we went. 8.30 it said on the tickets and we turned up a little earlier than that because we are northern and that's what people who have manners do. Trouble was, when we collected our blankets (maybe another ominous sign) the lady on the desk informed us that it would be kicking off at 9.30 (ish) Sorry? An hour and a half? Sitting a yard away from a not exactly mill pond like ocean? And it won't start until 9.30? I enquired at reception about the reasons for this but was told that it was an experiment and they weren't sure what time it would go dark enough to project. My feeling was that this is quite an exact science and the aforementioned weather man in 80's suit may have been able to help them with that one.
Still, we sat there for a while. Waiting. Although I knew that fingers were getting numb and tempers were getting short. I also realised that if the film was the director's cut - we could be there until the early hours. And then it started to rain. Reluctantly, I admitted that I had made a mistake and we left, returning home to warmth, a glass of wine and a Top of the Pops compilation.You can't win them all.
But the truth is that if you don't try, you will never know. If you don't put yourself out there and have a go, you might as well just curl up and not bother. I have a natural tendency towards invisibility. I hate to draw attention to myself. Sometimes this blog is almost painful for me because my default mode is keeping my head below the parapet. But you do have to have a go. You have to take what you are given and push it a bit. It may or may not go horribly wrong - who can tell? Things just might need adjusting a little for them to work next time. In the case of the outdoor film - a reasonably accurate start time would have helped me. Just give or take an hour or two - I'm not unreasonable. Sometimes, you may need to keep trying and build a higher skill level to make things work. Sometimes you may have to give up and admit it was a mistake. Would that be so bad? Isn't it worse to watch life slip away and never know how good it could have been?
Wiser people than me have said that life does not fall into your lap. It has to be lived. Jesus sometimes gets a bit of bad publicity for saying
 For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them. Seems quite harsh. But if you read the whole story, it is an observation rather than a curse. Those who risk may fail but those who don't try never get the chance to succeed. Succeeding could be quite nice I think.

Sometimes failure brings its own joys too. Maybe not for Blake Bergstrom though but bless him for allowing it go out there.

We'll have none of that

I hate the hairdressers. Not in a personal way just the fact of it. I hate having to try and make conversation so I end up feeling like an autistic savant who is auditioning for Rain Man as I occasionally bark out phrases like "The weatherman said it could rain by three o clock!" or even more bizarrely "I don't think I've ever had my legs waxed!". So I prefer companionable silence as I watch her cutting my hair and then blow dry it into a shape that makes me look like I am wearing X Men's Magnito's helmet. And, I suspect like many other women, I find myself thinking, "Never mind - I can do it how I like it when I get home."
So then begins the game in my head which I have always played. Loosely titled - "We'll have none of that in heaven", it's not a very interesting game. It's just me making a list of the things I'll be happy to see the back of when I get to heaven. This morning it was hairdressers. I'm not sure how it will work but I never get the feeling that there will be much hairdressing in heaven. Although in the children's bibles I read a lot of the angels looked as if they had benefitted from a good body perm, I'm not really convinced that there will be much call for it. I would forgive you now if you were thinking about about that CS Lewis quote that says "if they cannot understand books written for grown-ups, they should not talk about them" (Mere Christianity). Quite right. As I was saying, it's thinking about the things that will no longer exist in heaven like war, famine, the cult of Katie Price and cankles. It can be quite comforting.
The is another, more beneficial, game about heaven that I play sometimes. My friend Mary worked it out and I developed it a bit. In the Bible, where Jesus says "In my house there are many mansions, I go to prepare a place for you." I also add mentally that my house will have a garden shed. And in that shed there will be a shelf. On that shelf I put in jars, all the things that have happened to me that I can't understand why. Some are minor. Many are major. The most recent being the death of my brother. I know that I will never fully understand about that while I live on earth. I can then choose whether to allow this to affect me for the rest of my life and particularly affect the way I feel about God. Or, knowing what I know to be true about God in other things, I can put it in a jar, on a shelf in my heavenly shed, and get on with my life as best I can. I then know that one day, if I want to, that I will be able to take the jar down and ask a few probing questions along the lines of "what was that all about?". In practice, I expect that I will be so caught up that I probably won't bother. But I feel it's ok to reserve the right to ask anyway.

Speaking of "What is that about?" I give you John Daker. I have no idea what is going on here but I demand that this man sings solo in our church this Sunday! Do not bother me again with your Tim Hughes and your Hillsong!

Recognising Your Joy Bits

I have to start this with an apology. I have had a week and a half. Nothing exciting - only work etc. Usually, I sit down with what I want to say on the blog and think about it and craft it into the finished product. (this may come a surprise to you but it is true.) So, if you will forgive me, this is a bit different this week. Like I said, a busy if mundane week and I was feeling a bit sorry for myself and then remembered the things I had written about gratitude. But gratitude is really difficult if you don't think you have anything to be grateful for and, I have to be honest, I'm not as good as I should be at summoning gratitude for the health of my nearest and dearest and the fact that I have a job and can eat etc. So I have looked at this average week and highlighted some of the bits of it that brought me joy, even though I may not have recognised it at the time.

In no particular order..

• Saturday afternoon. One sprog camping overnight in Cornwall. One in town looking at shoes. Just me, the Women's Wimbledon Final, and a Magnum I had hidden at the back of the freezer.

Friday. Head of House, me, bottle of red wine taken in the grounds of Hargreaves Towers in the early evening.

• Friday afternoon around three pm. Realisation dawns that its nearly done for the week and a couple of days off is moving into view.

• Saturday night. All week I have been telling myself to try that dress on because I haven't worn it for ages and I don't want to be on the last minute because I know we have to be at the 'do' at 8pm and I also know that I don't have a Plan B as far as clothes for the evening go. But I never did try that dress on and now its 7:45, I am late as usual and I step into the dress in a state of dread and....it zips up perfectly!

A line of whites.

• Sunday morning. The pastor says "and now the children and young people are going to leave us" and as I watch them file out, laughing, chatting and holding hands (mainly the girls that one), I am struck by two things. How glad I am that I am not a youth leader anymore and how brilliant it is to watch these amazing young people in here on a Sunday Morning.

• Most nights of the week. Two adults. Two teens. Around the tea table. Laughing, sharing the day's events and interesting if sometimes combative  (from Sprog One) conversation.

• One beach. Two Jacks. Half a dead seagull. Let joy be unconfined!

Does it really get any better than the Charlie Brown clan dancing to Sly and the Family Stone?

And I find to my surprise that I could go on. Try it for yourself. (well you can if you want to) you don't have to obviously. You may have had a better week than me!

The Comeback Kid

I have made it part of my mission this week to follow Head Gardener round on one of his tours of the grounds and impart my gardening wisdom and opinions, whether they are asked for or not. I have included this photo of one of our roses, not because it is the most beautiful, but because it is the most comforting. We only have three roses here at Hargreaves Towers. The other two are my Roy Castle Rose and a white one that was supposed to be a climber but has stubbornly remained at base camp despite verbal threats and Morecambe lifting his leg on a regular basis, which I would have thought would have encouraged it to grow upwards if only to get away from the smell. Anyway, the third one is the Comeback Kid. This is our Charlie Brown's Christmas Tree. If you don't know the story of Charlie Brown's Christmas Tree you can look it up on YouTube or something. I also think that Friends shamelessly stole the story so you might be able to see it there. Anyway, the Head Gardener picked this up at some garden centre for 50p. (despite my best advice) It didn't look very well at all. There was one tiny green bit on it and the rest looked like it was as dead as a dead thing in a half price dead sale. But this year - roses. Lots of them. Of course, I come from a religion, that thrives on comebacks and the longer I live, the more I see that makes me believe that anything can be recovered from. So I asked Head Gardener, who is pretty smug about his success to stop smirking and tell me what things he had put in place to ensure the Comeback Kid had the best chance of recovery.

1. Put it in the right place. Try and keep it safe from pests including Morecambe (Lucy doesn't wee-wee up things - it's a genetic fact) In short, give it the best environment possible.
2. Feed it well. This takes a bit of investment. (Rose feeder - Wilkinsons - £2.49 on offer - bargain!) but the time and the money is worth it.
3. Keep things gentle for a while. Watch it in frosts or scorching sun. Don't expect it to be able to take everything that is thrown at it straight away.
4. Expect the first recovery roses to be a bit weedy but don't lose heart. This rose probably wouldn't win any awards but keep doing the right things and the next set will be stronger.
5. In the end though, you put everything into place but it really is down to the rose. The right conditions are important but it has to actually do the recovery thing itself.

You are probably way ahead of me but these are good principles for anyone in recovery from any trauma - physical, mental or spiritual. Surround yourself with people you trust and know care for you and if you don't know enough people to actually be surrounded by then ask your closest friends to do their best for a while. Watch what you are feeding yourself with. You know as a Christian, I know no better source than the Bible but as well as that, keep away from the stuff you know drags you down. Be gentle on yourself. If at first you don't succeed and everything.. If the first signs of recovery are disappointing - it doesn't matter. Keep going. But in the end it is up to you. People can support. God intervenes. But it will take your commitment and effort to get back into the sunshine.

On a less edifying note. Head Gardener has an anti social habit of getting rid of snails by picking them up and throwing them over the wall. This is anti - social both for the snail and any poor person walking past. Anyway, all his chickens came home to roost this week when one of his snail projectiles just missed a neighbour. He thought of trying to get out of it by playing innocent and pretending the snail had either jumped or been dropped by a passing seagull. In the end grovelling just about got him out of it. He's too old for all this delinquent behaviour.

Challenging website of the week. This lady does the cleaning in 15 minutes a day. I do cleaning but could never get it done in that time. Maybe it's because she doesn't factor in stopping for a slice of lemon drizzle like normal people. Thats probably it.

On a personal note. My niece is now a bona fide holder of a degree. Congratulations Jessica.