Absence etc

I am sorry I have not been around. Sprogs are back around for a while. Church minutes to type up. HOH and Aged Parent struggling with colds. Birthday celebrations for FOW2 needing to be organised and then partaken of. Day job exceedingly busy. Have made resolution to try not to strive. So sorry. Not there. Be back. Deffo.
Am leaving you with nce photo of my new vac which I have sort of inherited. Long story. It works ok. It's no Dyson but most worrying is the way I am talking to it when it gets stuck. "Don't go under there" "Ooh there's no good is it - you'll never get out" Old age is a terrible thing

The thing is we never were...

Guardian

...were we Mr Cameron?
There's a bit of a rant on the way but it is more in sadness than anger. So this week, we found out that people use offshore tax havens to hide money from their governments, or their wives or the lady that cleans for them. This, I think came as a surprise to precisely no-one.
There were a few choice names that came up and the people of Iceland were especially vexed as they had been told that there was no money anywhere in the whole country and it was fairly disappointing to find out that one of the reasons for that was that their leader had been spiriting it away to Panama in his wife's name. Other than that, we were all unhappy but not especially concerned. What could we do? Then the name "Cameron" came up and it all kicked off.
I take no pleasure in watching a man squirm the way our Prime Minister did this week. It would, of course, been better to be honest right at the beginning and say exactly what went on but which of us hasn't been guilty of being a bit economical with the truth and mumbling a bit in the hope that all this unpleasantness will fade away?
Now I didn't vote for him but I don't think Mr Cameron is anywhere near the most unpleasant person in his party. There is a lot of competition for that spot and I don't even think he is Premier League. I also feel that there is a possibility that some of these more unsavoury elements may be lining up someone as a successor to their Dear Leader and may be stirring things up a bit behind the scenes. (Too House of Cards?  OK.)
What was the most upsetting was to see laid out before your eyes, something that I always thought was true anyway. All that stuff about us all being in this together. We were never all in this together. Not really. In a week when I know of  a young woman who has had her toes removed and her lungs wrecked after a flesh eating disease took its toll, it's not really true to say that you are in it with her is it? Because this week she has had all her benefits and her mobility car taken off her - so college will be a nightmare and  work impossible. Then there is the couple I know. She is a permanent wheelchair user. he is her carer and has several disabilities himself. Still he was managing to hold down a job. It was in a hotel on Dartmoor as a reception manager. He was very highly thought of but he will have to give it up now. Guess why? because you can't get to a hotel on Dartmoor without a car. Well you can catch two buses and walk three quarters of a mile. If you don't need a stick to walk.
I'm not sure that someone who knows that, whatever happens, he doesn't have to worry too much because he can always play out some jiggery pokery with a few hundred thousand can't seriously think that we believe him when he says that we are all in this together can he? I think we all knew that in reality we never were but now we get to see it in black and white.

Its all gone Quite Dark Again.

Thank the Lord for the flippin' Durrells - that's what I say. My Family and Other Animals is one of my favourite books so adaptations make me nervous but this was great. It is a ray of sunshine in a sea of programmes where people are having horrible things happen to them. HOH follows them all - he especially likes a Scandi drama. But even he came into the kitchen after watching Marcella - the new drama with Anna Friel - and remarked "Good grief - that was nasty." Of course he said she was very good, which she obviously is and it's written really well but I'm just not bothering with it. Same with Line of Duty - you know, when the Film "Seven" had a severed head in it, it was so shocking every one I knew talked about it for days. Now we'll be getting them in Blue Peter soon, along with the obligatory tortured/imprisoned female. I really miss Morse sometimes.
Anyway - while I am ranting. Be careful what you wish for drama wise. I stopped watching The Night Manager because halfway through the second episode I realised that I had read it. (Pin sharp as usual, I am) I had read it and not enjoyed it. I thought the ending was downbeat and unsatisfying and SPOILERS - the baddie did not get what was coming to him. So when I heard that they had changed the end, I sat down and had a watch and, indeed they tied a lot of loose ends up and everything was all rosy and.. and.. I didn't like it! Maybe the end was meant to be less than satisfying. Maybe when someone writes a story they have that unhappy ending running silently through it so anything else jars a bit. I don't know. Anyway - for the record I am probably the only person in the universe to say this but I didn't think Hugh Laurie was all that as the villain. I thought he did "deranged genius" really well in House but I just couldn't see him as the kingpin of an international arms group. Quite frankly, he never looks as if he can be bothered to put in the amount of effort that being an international criminal would take. Just my opinion. Nothing to get worked up about. 

Flagging

Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls! Heb 12

Is it Christian to flag - a bit - sometimes? I think it must be. Do you know how I know? Because the Bible tells us not to flag and therefore, people must have been flagging if God had to tell them not to flag. Oh do keep up at the back!
I don't know about you but it has seemed like a long winter here. Not that it has been extra cold or anything because it hasn't. It just seems to have dragged on. We have seen a few changes here at Martha Towers what with the FOWs leaving home. (Although one is back at the moment - pretending to revise) HOH and I get on pretty well all things considered but the sprogs moving on has caused me to be a bit weird in the odd small dose. A friend warned me this would happen a few years ago. She went into a full on depression when hers left. I'm not sure I have gone that far, for which I am grateful, rather than giving myself any credit, but there is certainly a sense of "What now?"
I'm not talking about HOH and I not enjoying what our parents used to call "A Nice Drive Out" - without any eye rolling or tutting -  we intend to do lots of that but when you have spent a good proportion of your energy looking after the FOWs and then they are gone it is a bit - well sad. And I have flagged. Yes I have. I am normally a cheerful sort, my attitude IS gratitude but I have found myself asking about the way forward. Of course, asking God is the last thing I think to do - I usually like to leave praying about something until I have reached desperation levels. It's a little quirk of mine that probably drives God quite bonkers. But I am sort of asking now - whither am I to go? (Sorry - gone a bit Friendly Persuasion there) I don't suppose that this is anything that millions of parents before me haven't experienced but there you are. I am nothing if not unoriginal!

Easter Thinking (4) The Lord is Risen Indeed

I thought a bit about the Resurrection. About the reality of the Resurrection. I struggle a bit with pictures of glowing cloaks and a half naked Jesus stepping on soldiers and waving a flag. I like this Caravaggio about the meal on the road to Emmaus. I like that Jesus looks a bit careworn.The events of the last few days maybe having taken a toll. I like the split second of recognition on the faces of the disciples and the way their hands are almost touching. I also think the two extra people in the painting are interesting - one looks like he will take a bit more convincing thank you very much and the lady looks so worn down by life that she is not sure how much difference this will make to her anyway.

It is interesting, I think, how we react to the miraculous in this life. even the most pivotal and important miracle. It's like our reaction to the tumour that is no longer on the x-ray, the last child pulled from the rubble of an earthquake, the second chance given to the plane crash survivor. 

This was a hard fought for miracle. It didn't come easily. Victory did not fall into the lap of Jesus. Yet still, victory it was. How it affects though depends on what we do with it. We step into it and it reflects in how we live our lives or it doesn't. 

Today was Jesus' day of victory. Now we have to go away and make the chance we have been given mean something for us and those we are called to love.

Easter Thinking (3) - Easter Saturday

Holbein

It's always darkest just before the dawn -  or something. So today was the day before the big day. We know that now, so it's easy to be all full of faith about the promise now. Because we are here all these years later and we know it happened. Harder I think for the followers of Jesus at the time. There were perhaps a few obtuse prophecies - half remembered - about the temple or Jesus returning. But all they had for the moment were nightmares about what they had seen yesterday and a dead body. And, because of the brutal times in which they lived, they were quite aware of what a dead body looked like, thank you very much. This man was most definitely dead - none of this swooning nonsense that some people waffle about these days. He has been tortured and killed. No one could deny that.
And the day lasted just as long as every other day. No clues, no encouragement, just tears and bewilderment. What was that all about then? So they made some arrangements, perhaps to get together and pray. A bit half hearted maybe and not everyone would be there. Peter seemed to have gone back to his old life. So Mary Magdalene and some of the other women made arrangements to go and embalm the body - not check if he had risen by the way - look after his dead body. They would meet early in the morning, as soon as sabbath was over. 
And all the time, while the tiniest grains of faith were still binding them as friends, nudging them to pray and to stand their ground in their everyday lives, the miracle was approaching. As each minute passed it was getting nearer and nearer. No warning, no signs but it was on its way.

 When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices so they could embalm him. Very early on Sunday morning, as the sun rose, they went to the tomb.

Easter Thinking (2) - Good Friday

Chagal. White Crucifixion.. Chicago Art Institute

I'm not really up for writing about the Crucifixion. I don't have the skills. There have been countless poets and hymn writers who have got a lot closer than me. So I'm not going to do it. Write about the Crucifixion I mean. It's too much for me and I am useless. I did want to say a couple of things though. 
Firstly, I'm really glad that "It's Friday but Sunday's coming" Well, obviously it is but it is still Friday. And, if it's all the same to you, I would like to spend at least a portion of this day thinking on the horror that Jesus experienced. I'm not too keen on pretending that the darkness is never worth dwelling on for more than a millisecond. Partly because I think it does Jesus a dis-service but also, if we refuse to face the fact of a darkness full on, how can we identify with those who weep or mourn? Look how this darkness threw Peter. The night before when he had promised undying loyalty and love, Jesus had told him what would happen.

 “Don’t be so sure,” Jesus said. “This very night, before the rooster crows up the dawn, you will deny me three times.”

And that's exactly what Peter did - a full throated, expletive filled denial in the end. And Peter was overcome. Overcome at his own weakness, and his inability to amount to anything after all the promising and the enthusiasm. He was so overcome that he completely forgot the rest of what Jesus had said to him. 

"But after I am raised up, I, your Shepherd, will go ahead of you, leading the way to Galilee.”

Jesus would come back, and would lead him and Peter would be restored. Peter was blinded to all this, so that on this day of days when Peter had said that he would be there for Jesus, he was nowhere to be found.

Later on, all this would be fulfilled of course but for now Peter was absent as his friend was tortured and killed. The fear had overcome him and he felt there was no way back. Good Friday reminds us that sometimes, for some, all seems lost and hope struggles to get a look in and it makes us go missing from God. People are having those times now as well. Hope seems lost, the darkness overwhelms, we are weak and afraid. Sometimes, as Christians we can be guilty of bellowing "Be Of Good Cheer!" at people (Christianese for "Buck Up") and then leaving it at that. Today of all days is a time when we can at least, gently rub the back of someone's hand and acknowledge the fact of the darkness for a time.

Easter Thinking - The Day Before

We call it the Last Supper, when Jesus spent his last times of fellowship and friendship with his disciples. The last meal for a condemned man because Jesus knew exactly what was going to happen the next day. 
Social Media is full of snarking about Easter eggs not saying Easter or something and Christians warbling on about their rights as gay people or straight people or whatever. These are all important things but maybe not this weekend. Because here is the Son of God, humble, emotional, overcoming fear and holding on to the fact that he was returning to his Father. 

The quotes are from The Message - John 13 onwards

 Having loved his dear companions, he continued to love them right to the end.

With all that had occurred and all that was to occur - these men are described as his dear companions. Not men chosen just to preach the Gospel - but his dear, true friends. 

Jesus then, in an act of extraordinary selflessness and humility begins to bend down and wash the disciples' feet - including the feet of Judas who was still there. No-one else had offered, they called him Teacher and Lord and yet no-one jumped to serve him. So he served them. He put his own feelings aside and knelt at their feet. Even at this time, when he must have been glimpsing a shadow of a cross every time he turned his head, he lived the example. 

After he said these things, Jesus became visibly upset, and then he told them why. “One of you is going to betray me.”

The first time Jesus wobbles. He becomes upset, not because of what was to come but because of the betrayal, by one of his friends. Then again he takes control. He hands Judas the bread - Judas is sitting close enough to him to be handed the bread directly; not skulking about in the background, Was he still weighing it up? Or keeping up appearances? But, the moment Jesus passes him the bread, the balance tips. The Bible says that Satan entered. Judas left. The disciples were mainly ignorant but Jesus knew time was short.

Don’t let this throw you. You trust God, don’t you? Trust me. 

As the time runs away, Jesus tries to give them everything he thinks they will need. Don't be thrown by what you are about to see, I will not leave you alone, you mustn't worry about me - no one has any power over me.
And even as they are walking towards the garden where his betrayal will occur, the teaching continues, the words come tumbling out as if he is driven to tell them everything they need to know before he is snatched away  - he tells them they will be able to pray directly to the Father, he tells them that he has conquered the world and he also tells them that they will all leave him in his hour of need. And then he prays for them. A prayer for his followers that will continue to resonate with Christians. 
The whole thing is extraordinary, such selflessness, the Son of God shot through with humanity. 

America Helps (A Bit)

Wikipedia

Re my last blog about helping understand what is happening in America, this is interesting. One, part of a speech from President Obama and the second, a piece from a New Yorker columnist. Part of the conclusion seems to be, if winning is all you want and you are prepared to to do whatever it takes to win - slating your opponents, cosying up to bad people and manipulating vulnerable people - then sometimes you will see the consequences of those actions. Possibly, the Republican Party has gone about opposition in the wrong way - allowing themselves to be influenced by those whose opinion is just about power rather than what is right. And now - no-one can get those cats back in the bag. It's an interesting theory - if a bit scary and maybe a bit more credible than my theory about their brains being corrupted by flesh eating aliens. Anyway read Obama first..

There are thoughtful conservatives — good people in the Republican Party, good people who are Republican voters who care about poverty and they care about climate, and don’t resort to insults, and are troubled by what’s happening inside their own party. I know them. I’ve talked to them. But they’ve got to acknowledge why this happened — because some of them have been writing that, “Well, the reason our party is going crazy is because of Obama.” Which is a pretty novel idea. The notion is Obama drove us crazy.

Now, the truth is, what they really mean is their reaction to me was crazy and now it has gotten out of hand. But that’s different. I didn’t cause the reaction. The reaction is something that they have to take responsibility for and then figure out how do we make an adjustment.

Obama's analysis mirrors that of New Yorker editor David Remnick, who calls Trump "the beneficiary of a long process of Republican intellectual decadence.”

"Paul Ryan denounces Trump but not the Tea Party rhetoric that propelled his own political ascent," he writes. "John McCain holds Trump in contempt, but selected as his running mate Sarah Palin, the Know-Nothing of Wasilla, one of Trump’s most vivid forerunners and supporters. Mitt Romney last week righteously slammed Trump as a 'phony' and a misogynist, and yet in 2012 he embraced Trump’s endorsement and praised his 'extraordinary' understanding of economics."

Help Me America

Hello America

This is a bit of an open letter from a Brit. I have to tell you, I love America. I have only been once but I loved it. I loved America, I loved the people, the place, the telly, the shops. It seems to be full of reasonable people who were, for the most part, entirely normal.

I am immersed in American culture, like most people, I suppose. Reasons I love your county include...

• Nora Ephron
• Early Woody Allen films (not so much after Everyone Says I Love You - to be honest but that's still a fine body of work.)
• The Empire State
• Rick and Kay Warren
• The West Wing (Ahhh...The West Wing...)
• Billy Graham
• Steve Martin
• Tina Fey and Amy Pohler (Individually and together)
• Star Wars (Except - well, you know the three I mean)
• WWF (I know, but there it is)
• Frank Sinatra
• The Beach Boys
• Motown (Extra points for The Temptations)
• Christy Turlington's cheekbones
• Field of Dreams
• Randy from "Say Yes to the Dress"

And that's only the top of the list. America you are a bit weird when it comes to sporting events sometimes, and the Guns for all Toddlers Who Want One thing is unfortunate to say the least but - quite often - we look to you. So can you explain THIS to me. 

Wikipedia

I don't think I am alone in the UK when it comes to bafflement.We don't get it. Truly we don't. I mean, in the end, it's your choice and everything and no-one wants to interfere in things that don't concern us (although there is a worry that it might concern us all if he is allowed anywhere near the pressy nuclear button) but it all seems so out of character? Did you ever see the Invasion of the Body Snatchers where people's brains were taken over by an alien force? That's how this looks to outsiders at the moment. You might say that we are no great shakes ourselves and there is some truth in that. Lots of people here voted for a government with George Osborne in it but Donald Trump? Really? Help me America. Help me understand.

How Much?

This is a rant - pure and simple so if you have suffered enough today - feel free to leave. Also, it is going to be a particularly lady shaped rant so if you are of a sensitive bent - well whatever. Without going into long and tortuous detail about my personal circumstances, I wanted to talk about "Mastectomy Fashion." (Actually an Oxymoron but never mind) Ladies of a certain lopsided persuasion with bit of them missing have to wear special bras so that they can tuck false boobles in. (Still with me? Good!) I get a bit worked up about how much these bras are - rarely less than £30. However, that pales into insignificance when it comes to the price of the clothes. If you have ever reached the end of  a long day and found it relaxing to take off your bra and let your ning-nangs run free, you will realise how nice it would be for any lady to do the same. However, women with mastectomies need a pocket  to put a breast form in unless you want to look a bit lopsided. (Doesn't bother me too much but it is VITAL to some ladies.) So you can buy T Shirts and nighties and things - IF YOU TAKE OUT A PERSONAL LOAN! Behold this vest top.

It's not Armani is it? So why is it £44.00? (£52 pounds if you are not exempt from VAT)






Or this little beauty

This is a nightdress - supposedly to go to bed in. It starts at £57.00. I would wear it to collect an OBE in at that price.






So why so expensive? Could it possibly be because there is so little choice out there?  Is it possibly because traumatised women, for whom appearing normal and a bit attractive is sooo important have little choice but to pay? Some would say that this is just cosmetic but for women who have had their femininity assaulted the way that breast cancer does, cosmetic is as important as any other part of their rehab.You can't just whip to Primark and get a £3.99 vest like everyone else, your options are limited. I would expect to pay more because of the extra material but this smacks of taking advantage of people who have no choice.

I'm not really a big believer in what people call a courageous fight against cancer. In my experience most people are prepared to do whatever it takes to get rid of the stinking disease but the same people are very scared. The treatment is no fun - truly it isn't and that's before you get to the sheet terror of the whole thing. But survivors are making their way back into the world. They will bear the scars for the rest of their lives. To me, it feels that someone, somewhere is making not a profit from this (a profit is fine) but they are making a mahoosive profit and that just doesn't feel right does it?