They
couldn’t take their eyes off them—Peter and John standing there so
confident, so sure of themselves! Their fascination deepened when they
realised these two were laymen with no training in Scripture or formal
education.
So I'm reading this in the Message in Acts, and I get to thinking about Peter. Not John so much. He always strikes me as being the one that has it all sorted. The quiet, faithful, groovy one. I always think of John of being a bit like Jazz music or Jimi Hendrix or something. Can't help you with why that would be.
Anyway, back to Peter, it's that phrase, "standing there so confident" He's a man perfectly at ease with himself and with his God. He's doing great things. He's like McFaddyn and Whitehead and there ain't no stopping him now. Yet not so long ago, he was broken. He had so messed up. Made himself look a fool. He declared undying love and devotion to Jesus and then couldn't follow it though. He let Jesus down - big time. He knew it. He accepted it.He was ready to leave the life of God behind and go back to fishing for a living. So what made the difference? Well lots of things, you know about the sort of things,the coming of the Holy Spirit, Jesus' calling - all the epic stuff.
There was, I think, also a quieter, more personal thing. Peter was able to receive his forgiveness. It is obvious to us that Jesus forgave Peter for his behaviour. It was done with as far as he was concerned. But then there is the next step in forgiveness. If you are forgiven, you need to BE forgiven. You need to act it, take it, do it. If it's gone, it's gone - move on, get on with the life you have been given. It does not honour God to keep dragging events back up that he has dealt with. It can be a bit self indulgent if we are not careful. God had stuff for Peter to do. He needed to be preaching and healing and getting bolshy with religious leaders and standing next to John while people got their astonished faces on. Even with God's power, he couldn't have done that if he was all "woe is me."
In truth, I don't know if Peter wrestled privately with what he had done in the past, but it didn't seem to let it affect his purpose and the way he lived his life.
Being forgiven is supposed to make us feel good - if we let it.
The Internet is a funny thing. Blogging is even stranger. For quite a while now, I have been following a blog. I have never met the lady but from her musings, I understand her to be a woman of God, a preacher, a server, devoted to her family and her community. She likes a simple life, frugality and her home. Last night, I heard through another blogger friend that her husband had died. He had been ill for some time but the possibility of his death coming sooner rather than later had only really become into being in the last few weeks. His death must have been an awful shock. So this evening, in the spirit of God's community as well as a blogging community, I'm adding my prayers to those of her friends, for her and her family; that God will support them and they will feel his love and security at this time. And that those who mourn will be comforted.
No really it is. This week at work, had horrible conversation which sort of ticked through a few diary dates and then pointed out that when they were done, it would be time to start writing letters out for the CHRISTMAS DRAW! Ignore it - I am.
It is very humid here in the South West of England, so that everyone has one of those headaches which feels like you have a cartoon anvil on your head. The days are a bit energy sapping, I think, I do struggle to get stuff done when it's like this. Then, there are the twin distractions of Wimbledon and the World Cup. I am more of a footbally type person, I'm afraid. Probably means I'm common as muck but there you are.
Fruit of Womb One has returned to the fold for the summer (or at least some of it) This means that whenever I leave the house, I need to be careful always to return with a French Stick just in case the hunger pangs are overwhelming. (He is thin as a rake by the way) Aged parent has also joined in by stacking her freezer with food - just in case.
He spent nearly seven hours on the train to get back and he doesn't have the shortest legs. He said it seemed like seven days. Myself, I just prayed for travelling mercies and got on with my day. The young people laugh when I pray for travelling mercies - not the praying - the phrase. Apparently, it makes me sound like something out of The Crucible. Well...
1. Ask me if I am bothered.
2. I think I might look quite fetching in one of those bonnets.
3. I love the phrase "Travelling Mercies.". It has everything. An acknowledgement that God is in charge, you can't think of everything that might happen and this just acknowledges that God watches over us. I love it. I am very much a commit it to God - all of it - kind of person.
If it were up to me, this family would still be singing "Jesus Tender Shepherd" before we went to bed. Apparently, that would be quite weird for a family in which the youngest member is 18.
"Jesus Tender Shepherd, hear me.
Bless thy little lamb tonight.
Through the darkness, be thou near me
Keep me safe till morning light
Amen"
To be sung in child's lisping voice while parent sobs. Possibly to be followed by "This Little Piggy Went To Market" if they insist.
All go at Martha Towers. Aged mother taken to car boot and out for breakfast. Although am still recovering from conversation last time we took her out.
Mum That's a nice dress
Me Thank - you
Mum Makes you look slim
Me I think I am quite slim - all things considered (Two babies and a fondness for Lemon Drizzle)
Mum No, no you have quite a belly on you now but that dress helps a lot.
I have known people in counselling for less!
On returning, sit down to book theatre tickets for trip to London with offspring. Decide to go and see well reviewed play with Carey Mulligan and Bill Nighy. All goes well when booking, plenty of seats available, (This should really have been a red flag to me) and I come to the payments page and find that 4 tickets - including one student - comes to £546.00! How much? Do I get to come and share your lovely home with Marcus Mumford for a week for that? I think it out again and we will be going to see The Commitments.
Off to church Sunday pm. Manage to get myself sat next to lady who spends first half of meeting sobbing gently into her hanky. Try to convince myself that it is hay fever but realise that it probably isn't. Toy with idea of putting caring hand on shoulder but lady is with husband/son/glamorous Spanish paramour (am not sure which) and he appears blissfully unconcerned so feel this would be interfering. Get no help from HOH who is pretending to be totally immersed in worship. Think meeting cannot get more uncomfortable when worship leader instructs us to break into groups and share something to pray about. WELL THANK YOU! Can I just say, I would be more impressed with that idea if you got off your safe space on the platform and joined us lesser mortals sitting next to woman in middle of fully fledged nervous breakdown. Try to catch eye of lady with tissue that is now very nasty but she turns her back to me and points out Bible verse to her chap. Reassure myself with probability that God is dealing with situation and turn back to HOH. Spend pleasant five minutes with heads together, in approximation of prayer, discussing how badly Brits generally deal with pew based mental collapse.
As meeting ends, lady leaves with speed of bullet fired from gun, proving herself immune to my pastoral caring face which I am wearing in case she needs it. We also leave, as soon as FOW2 has chatted for several hours.
Retire to bed. Am going back to work. Am quite tired - again.
PS If you could just add Adrian Plass to your prayer list as he has recently had a stroke. If there is a Christian in Britain who has not been blessed by this gentleman, I have yet to meet them. He is fantastic and funny and wise. Please pray for him and his family.
Having been in a sort of blah place where nothing is wrong but not much is right either I have asked God what to do when, to be honest, I didn't really want to do anything. I have thought that I might come to a place where I leave all this blah feeling behind immediately,
stepping out of it like a pencil skirt at the end of the day and
becoming free. Instead, I am finding that I am moving forwards again, albeit slowly, as circumstances change and I actually do some stuff.
First, the hole in the ground by our pipes has been filled and the phone is mended. Call me a surface kind of person and you would essentially be right. Had as I try to rise above my circumstances, when things are suffering then so am I. Cue improvement in mood.
Then, nose to the grindstone and get the work done that needed doing. Procrastination is all very well when there is football to watch but when I have stuff piling up I start to feel a bit like that woman on the advert for laxative pills - you know, a bit bloated and flabby. So catching up with stuff I HAD to do, both at home and work and being able to give it a satisfying tick in my ticky book also helped my mood.
On a slightly more spiritual note, and requiring slightly more effort from someone who has not really been hit too hard with the spiritual Christian stick, is a morning ritual. In this case I am defining ritual as a religious habit which I don't think is the dictionary definition but don't bother me with trivialities.
For better people than me the shower is where they do their best thinking. For me, the shower is where I get my revenge. I make some of my best "No! You listen to me..." speeches in the shower. It's not a great way to start the day. So when I came across this in Chronicles
They were also to stand every morning to thank and praise the Lord.
1 Chronicles 23 v 30
It made me think. I am doing the standing already. Maybe it would be better to fill my head with God, every morning, rather than than worry and fear, while I stand, in the shower. It's a ritual. A habit. Something good to follow. Something that lets God in and helps me start the day with him rather than just me. It's a bit wet but I don't think God is bothered.
