Just me and my mum...

driving each other crazy...


(Me)Thought you might like a trip to Dunelm Mill

(Aged Parent) What for?

Dunno, just thought you might fancy a walk round.

Well, I don't really need anything but..

(Later - entering Dunelm Mill.)

We are just passing the bedding - Did you need anything? 

 No. I need some storage. 

It's just that, if you do need bedding, it's best to get it now because we would have to walk all the way back round the warehouse to get back here.

No, just storage.

What sort of storage?

I'll know when I see it. Just storage.

What are you storing - Christmas Decs, Eiderdowns, Cup cakes, assault rifles?

I am ignoring you. It says storage over there

It says Children's storage. There's more round the corner.

(Walk round the corner - no storage there)

I saw storage back there, and I said so but you said no.

Wasn't that Children's storage? 

Nope.

(Walk back in direction of parent's pointy finger. Stand under large sign saying "Children's Storage"). 

There's only children's storage here

Yes, I think I did say so. Did you want children's storage - some of it is quite cute?

Don't be ridiculous.

(We carry on walking round the store, in slow yet sure pursuit of an underbed box for winter sweater storage)

Did that laptop come?

Nope.

Is it lost in the post?

Nope. It's being signed for. It will arrive.

What if someone else signs for it?

They won't.

Will you ring me when it arrives?

Why?

To put my mind at rest. Anyone could sign for it.

Only someone in our house. If someone breaks in at the precise moment the postman is knocking at my letterbox and stands at my front door and signs for it, I will be worried.

You're not funny.

Look, here are some storage boxes. (Stop at huge wall of various boxes)

This is good. I like these.

Brilliant. So you have everything now yes?

Yes - just as soon as I find where the bedding is.