I'm sat in the Sunday Morning Meeting, as you do. I'm alone as HOH is tending to the needs of the sick at the hospital and I'm looking round a bit. My eyes see a few people sat to my right. Our church is cavernous, so they are not exactly sat on top of me. They are people I know of rather than know - if you get me. They are medical people, really nice. They do stuff for God in far off places in their spare time. They are going through some testing health problems which they are bearing with good faith and application. I spoke to him once and was amazed to find that he had not been a Christian for very long. He attended an Alpha course and it had gone from there. Amazing. Then, as I do, I compare these people to me. I see all they will achieve for God and I wonder if I have left it too late. They are nice. I am not nice. They have maturity and gravitas. Er... This can lead to me wondering if I am really much of a Christian at all and if God could really have done much better for himself. Then, out of nowhere, I came over all David Cassidy.
I don't know if you remember David Cassidy. When I was young, it was one of three. The cool girls loved David Cassidy. The really cool girls loved Michael Jackson. The rest of girlhood loved Donny Osmond. I was team Donny. I know. I don't care.
David Cassidy was beautiful though. You had to admit that. So I used to watch him in The Partridge Family. I loved the Partridge Family. I had no idea what was going on really but anyway. I think they were a pop band made up from a family. They would go "on the road", have wacky adventures and then sing a jolly pop song at the end. Think S Club Seven with Shirley Jones as their Mum. That kind of thing. Then, because David Cassidy was beautiful, he started doing stuff on his own. And there was a song, Not much of a song but it had a lyric.
In the eyes of the world I'm a loser just wastin' my time
I can't make a dime
In the eyes of the world being born was my first big mistake
I can't get a break
But in the eyes of my woman I stand
Like a hero, a giant, a man who's as tall as can be
Any fool can see
That she's lookin' through the eyes of love
Lookin' through the eyes of love
Lookin' through the eyes of love when she looks at me-ee.
But in the eyes of my woman I stand
Like a hero, a giant, a man who's as tall as can be
Any fool can see
That she's lookin' through the eyes of love
Lookin' through the eyes of love
Lookin' through the eyes of love when she looks at me-ee.
What actually took place is this: I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn’t work. So I quit being a “law man” so that I could be God’s man. Christ’s life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not “mine,” but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that.
And I felt ok. There are complicated transactions going on here. Much more complicated than me and how I feel about myself sometimes. But it is taken care of. It is sorted. Christians should feel comforted and secure. Because we are.
Amen sister! When I find myself comparing my inadequacies with the "Super-Christian-Whose-Spent-Her-Life-Saving-Lost-Souls-Faraway-In-A-Very-Hot-Place--Eating-Dire-Food-And-Going-Without-Marmite" [my childhood definition of missionary life] I realise that we each have our own place and role in The Kingdom, and that the words of Esther 4 are still as true for me and you as for our worthy brothers and sisters "Yet who knows—maybe it was for a time like this that you were brought to the kingdom!” PS right now, it would help a little if I could see a bit more clearly exactly what He wants me to do for Him here in Dorset - prayers on that one appreciated, if you have a spare moment. Thanks, friend
ReplyDelete1. Excellent description of a missionary.
Delete2. Am happy to pray for direction for you.
3. Possibly think you should also consider that you are already doing quite a lot for God where you are and the person that you are. Sometimes we don't see it in ourselves.
Praying also, Ang.
ReplyDeleteStop trying and just be the lovely person that you are. NM is right.
You strike a chord with me here Miss Martha. I remember David Cassidy. Had his pictures up in my room. And Michael Jackson and Donny Osmond. I loved them all. Thank you for helping me to understand He's looking through the eyes of love at me, right where I am. I live in the country. Very few people. But family and grandkids around. I'm blessed. I hope I can bless too. Thanks for your good words.
ReplyDelete~Jody
;-) It is sometimes hard to get hold of just how God sees us.
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