Friday, 29 March 2013
The Internet is awash this morning with Good Friday thoughts and meditations. That is how it should be. I am happy to point you to a couple. A reminder of a beautiful hymn from Tracing Rainbows and a wonderful meditation here
I am afraid that I am out of step with right thinking Christianity myself this Easter because we lost our dog this week. Our lovely Lucy had a stroke and we took the horrible decision to have her put down. HOH had to bear the heaviest burden as he had to take her. She was only eight. We had not seen it coming but there was no choice. So as he stroked her and thanked her for the lovely time we had together and said goodbye as the anesthetic sent her to sleep, HOH said that he was overcome with love for this little, submissive, eager to please little dog and our hearts are breaking at the moment.
This weekend calls to mind the most pivotal events in the history of humanity but, I am sorry. I am just not there. We have an empty box in the kitchen and some ashes to scatter on the beach, where she loved to potter and roll in seaweed when she thought that we weren't looking.
I hate it at the moment. I hate that it is so much easier to walk one dog than two. I hate the money we will save on food. I hate not pulling them apart when they disagreed over the ownership of a ball. I hate not hearing her click-click of her paws on the polished wooden floors. I hate that another connection with my brother, whose dog she was, has gone. We know that we gave her a good life and she was very happy with us and eventually, I am sure that this will be a comfort.
Everyone I know who has owned a dog tells me that it is the same for all dog owners. That, as we leave the breeder's house with our puppy, we are setting ourselves up for heartbreak further down the line. Yet we all do it, because of what they give to us, with their unconditional love and companionship, as well as all the laughter. And I know that we will laugh when we remember her. Eventually. Just not yet.
Good bye Lucy Lou. Our family is richer for knowing you and poorer now you aren't here. Thank you - for everything.
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