Sings.."Oh the farmyard is itching..." or something

Anyway - is it Spring? Is it? Really? Is England in the lovely words of Pen Wilcock finally turning its face towards the sun? I mean, I know it's not been cold but I feel like we have had a winter and a half and we haven't been flooded or anything so goodness knows how those poor people in Somerset feel. I am tempted to go into garden and yell at flowers "Don't come out - not yet, it's too soon" but don't suppose they will listen.
Got up early today to try and do some work on Alpha talk I have been coerced happy to do. "Does God Heal Today?" is a bit of a hot potato. Doesn't help that have been out of action for three days with possibly one of my top 5 migraines ever. Yes I do get the irony and yes I did pray and I think I did get an answer because my head did not explode like a scene from Scanners which seemed a distinct possibility on Thursday at 2am.
So I have read a bit of Phillip Yancey and he isn't too convinced about healing because he doesn't think he has actually seen one and then I read some Richard Foster and he seems to see about two every twenty minutes. The Alpha talk online seems to consist mostly of Nicky Gumbel describing the miracles that happened when John Wimber visited his church which is all very nice and everything but not much help to me really.
So I am thinking that I am just going to have to go for the truth as I see it (no need to panic pastor)These are very random thoughts but no change there eh?

I have never seen a limb or a tooth grow or anything else that would make the recipient of the healing into some sort of freak show that flew in the face of nature. I would not be stupid enough to say it hasn't happened. I have never seen it.

The healing "industry" has attracted some unscrupulous characters who prey on the vulnerable. It's unfortunate but true.

It's easy to be detached and cynical about healing and prayer right up until the precise second when you or someone you adore is diagnosed with something. In my experience, people are then far more open to the possibility of a miracle.

For me, healing is not just about the physical and all that stuff about one leg longer than the other. It is about the whole person. Jesus, being the Son of God, knew that, I think. He told people that their sins were forgiven - releasing them from crippling guilt. He showed that positive faith in him would lead to a release from anger and shame and these things had physical impacts.

He also touched people and they were healed. Can't get away from it.

I am convinced through my own experience and those of people I know that God does heal today. Although I had extensive medical treatment for which I am eternally grateful, my prognosis was still poor and I am, in the words of the great Shirley Maclaine, "Still here" many many years on. 

If I have a conclusion - half baked I know - but this is Alpha, not 10 years at Bible College - It's that we don't pray enough , don't ask enough so we don't know what God can and does want to do. We walk into prayer often just when we are desperate with no experience of the faith levels and the relationship with God that will be needed. We expect such huge things from God after just farting about on the edges of a faith filled relationship and then things don't happen. 

So that's what I think. I just have to put it into coherent thoughts, trying not to use the word "fart" in church. You could pray for me if you wanted.

Before I go....Proud parent alert

This is FOW1's band. (He's on the right) They won Battle of the Bands at York Uni last night. This is apparently a big deal so well done. I did watch some of it on Student TV. To be honest I thought it was all a bit of a racket but as FOW2 pointed out - "Mum - it's not really for you is it?"

I know nothing...

but this is amazing. Watch and learn and marvel at the extraordinary balance of the world we live in.

This Will Do Me Good...Or Not.

I'm reading this. Well sort of. I'm finding it a bit hard going and am on the point of packing it in. Yet I feel I shouldn't. This book and my good self are supposed to be a perfect match apparently. According to Amazon, people who like Barbara Pym and Georgette Heyer (me) are supposed to love this. It's very well written. There's a lot going on. People I like, like this. People who are well thought of think a lot of this. I really should like it. There is no reason not to like it. I don't like it.
I am the one that is wrong, I'm certain of it. I apologise if you love it. I have tried to love it. I have failed.

I think it's in the Screwtape Letters that CS Lewis talks about the demons being unable to get a decent hold on people because they love county cricket or something equally unfashionable. This is because people are not pretending, not trying to impress and are not tied up in themselves and the impression they are making. The important point being that people should be who they are rather than what they think people want them to be. The young people sometimes all agree to like something because everyone else likes it or because it should be liked because it is a "good thing". As I get older and therefore more shrivelled and cantankerous, I am more and more seeing this as a mistake. It really is fine to be out of step with popular thinking (unless your definition of "out of step" means it's ok for you to be a serial killer) 

So, I'm leaving it if that's alright with you. I'm off to a nice Kate Atkinson (99p on my Kindle) Don't let me put you off if you fancy it. It's just not me that's all. 

Unexpected

Just an ordinary morning and I am setting off for work. I turn onto the main road to Plymouth City Centre and wonder what on earth happened. I count seven police cars all with blue lights flashing, one ambulance and a bread van in the middle of it all. Picking my way through as best as I can I can pass a lady sobbing into her mobile saying "Go to Derriford, go straight there as quickly as you can." Derriford is our local hospital.

Later on I discover that a fourteen year old girl has been hit by the bread van and is fighting for her life. Walking to work is a bit weird, I am shaken and full of thoughts of how a day can turn on a sixpence. One second all is as normal, it's another day at work or school. You are bored or tired or whatever. Maybe you have words with the people you love. Maybe you are just a bit fed up. Maybe you are happy as Larry. Whatever. Within a minute, all that can change. 

A day can start as normal as anything. A moment of inattention. A pain in an unexpected place. A telephone call that you were not expecting. Any of these can signal a seismic change to the life you were expecting to live. It's scary but it is the nature of life. 

If anything these things point to the futility of worry. We can spend years - lifetimes even, putting our energies into what might go wrong, what might happen. Worry about health, your children, your children's health, your job, your lack of a job, the list is endless. Yet in practice, few of these worries amount to much. The thing that might change your life is more likely to be a phone call on a wet Wednesday afternoon when you least expect it. This is not to cast a pall of darkness over anyone. It's just to say it may be how it is and not a second of worry can change it. 

Imagine a life without worry. Fully depending on God. Sure of his tenderness towards you, yet not thinking that means that you live a life without hurdles and disappointments. It must be great to be like that. I'm sure you must get a lot more done.

Matthew 6:34

³⁴ “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

Think, Stop, Talk - especially Stop.

I used to speak a lot at various Christian do-dahs but for lots of reasons I haven't done it for ages. In a weak moment,  I agreed to help out the last minute for Alpha and spoke on the Bible. 
The good thing about writing is that you have a stop and read mode and you can weed out anything outrageous or silly. Punctuation is not a strong point as regular readers will know but I do try. When I am speaking though, I don't have that advantage and when I am trying to make a point and I am not sure that people are getting it, I can get carried away sometimes - a bit.
So I would like to apologise to the Alpha group at Mutley for telling then that the Old Testament moved towards the coming of Jesus in a rolling Dr Who-ish Timey-Wimey way. Also for refererring to the Gospel of John as the most theological and thoughtful of the gospels, like er.....Jazz?

Sorry. Again. Don't let it put you off. God is far less puzzling than I am.

Learning...always learning.

This is lovely. Cookie Monster and Tom Hiddleston. Just thinking though. Seasame Street has moved on a bit since I was little. Delayed Gratification??? What happened to "Sharing" or "One of these things is not like the other one." Kids must be a lot brighter these days. Still lovely.

I Hope We Are Worth It

BBC

I'm warning you now. This is a bit of an old farts rant. There are things that happen, more and more often these days, that tell me that I am old. A lot of these things involve gravity and various bits of my body which I will not horrify you with by going into any more detail. There is also the amount of time I send making tutting noises at the telly (which annoys everyone in the room but me apparently) and an inceasing fondness for the company of a Jack Russell, a blanket and a Barbara Pym novel. I was never what Eric Morecambe used to call "a raver" but I know that I am slowly but surely getting older and rattier.

This week, I have seen some journalism that I have filed in my "Really? Are you sure?" cabinet. British journalism is taking a bit of a beating at the moment what with the News of The World hacking trial and the pros and cons of partners of journalists being searched at airports - these are difficult times. Yet, worry not, all is saved - courtesy of the Daily Mail who proudly ran this headline in their Sidebar of Shame

Watch your step! Lauren Goodger narrowly avoids walking into a puddle during day out in Essex

Now I have to confess that I do have a fondness for a bit of sleb news ('cept I don't know who this is) I like to see a lady on a red carpet in a posh frock as much as the next person. Also who is stepping out with whom is still as facinating to me as it was at school. I like to imagine that this week in the Daily Mail newsroom there were a gang of hardened hacks placing bets on whether they could get away with this or not.

It's just that, in a week where Ukranian people have died on the street to get a chance to choose their own destiny and that we hear that the destiny that they would prefer is to grow closer to the West, it all seems a bit depressing. I guess that having freedom also means having the freedom to be slight and trivial and silly. I get that. It's just that it's a woman - stepping sideways - in the rain. (Makes old lady sighing noise and retreats to kitchen to make a brew)

Culture

To flicks to see Inside Llewyn Davis this week. The thing about the Cohen Brothers' films is that they are an acquired taste. Sometimes I think I have acquired it - O Brother Where Art Thou, A Serious Man, The Hudsucker Proxy. Sometimes definitely not - No Country for Old Men (Very Nasty) Millers Crossing (Quite Nasty) Fargo (Nasty pretending it wasn't nasty) Sometimes I can sit through the films and not have the faintest idea what is going on. Barton Fink was a complete mystery from beginning to and was also quite nasty.

Inside Llewyn Davis is a movie about the folk scene in New York in 1961. Llewyn Davis is a folk singer for whom very little goes right and  then it goes wrong again. Please see following bullet points for my considered opinion. May contain spoilers but as this is a Cohen movie - you may not understand them anyway. 

• This is beautifully shot. The colours, the muted tones, the attention to detail seem perfect to me. I can't claim to be an expert on early sixties New York but it looked spot on to me.
• Carey Mulligan has a real presence. She isn't in this that much to be honest but when she is around - you don't look at anyone else. 
• I love the courage the Cohens have just to take a fraction of a time - almost a story without a beginning middle or end and just show it - without any closure or redemption - and still hold you. It's very clever.
• I hate folk music. I try not to but I do. All that "leaving of Liverpool" droning on. No wonder people were so depressed. Do not try to convert me.

So was the film good? It was really good. A bit strange but good. 

Undercover

Hello. Just a short post to let you know that I won't be posting any anonymous comments. It's a policy and I am unanimous in this. I have had a couple of "interesting" opinions and you never know who you are giving a voice to. Actually I haven't been doing this for ages but forgot to tell you. If you struggle to sign on to Bloglovin or similar and are just having problems with the technology (I may be talking to you Pat - I may not) then you can let me know in the body of the comment who you are and that will be fine and dandy. I don't like to be a bossy sort so I have tried to get on your good side by including a photo of a cute koala bear.

Alphaville

So this is the first time I have ever been involved with Alpha. And well - who would have thought it? It's a minefield. I have been given a sort of floating debris role, like in Gravity, because I'm not actually trained as a table leader and would therefore probably be clueless. (Actually no probably about it) We have quite an interesting group of people on the tables and I have to say it is really good to see how many people are actually really interested and engaged. Not everyone obviously. There are certainly people who seem to have been dragged there or bribed to come by concerned family and friends. 
One such person announced to the table that people worshipped Star Wars now and this didn't seem to be very different to him. Well, thank goodness I was there, eh? Using my superior Christiany knowledge and all round spiritual giantness, I manged to parry these attacks and he converted almost immediately. (Well not really, but we all had quite a deep discussion about how good Harrison Ford looked in those boots in Star Wars and I like to think that I helped in some small way)
On a slightly more serious note, I had to poke my big nose in at the last Alpha. My understanding of the course is that it is a safe place for people to ask questions. Any questions. Unfortunately, we seem to have gained someone on our table who has, probably very well meaningly, taken it on himself to put people right according to his version of the Gospel. So an enquiry about the reality of the flood story is met by a lecture on how old the world really is and how dinosaurs couldn't get on the ark - all accompanied by a list of relevant books. 
Then, a statement about struggling to make the leap of faith from God to actually praying to Jesus meant that the poor person who had said it found herself pressed up against the wall on the way out and "invited" to pray out this thing that was holding her back - as "God had used him before in this area". I did very well and resisted the temptation to show him how much God had used me in the "smacking you in the mouth" area and satisfied myself by telling "sir" about him.
When I was young, it used to annoy me when I was told to invite people to social evenings at church and then have to watch them sit through forty five minutes on Revelation - which hadn't shown anywhere in the programme. I thought it was dishonest. I still do. I think Alpha is a great idea. It has been amazing to see just how interested people are in the idea of a God that loves them. But the idea is that we do what Jesus did. We meet people where THEY are - not where WE are. Otherwise we come over like bossy donks and that would never do.
Right, off to shake my fist at the Baftas now. Until we meet again cheri.

You should be stronger than me

Plymouth Herald

We have some weather here at the moment - yes we do and I am annoyed. Not by the weather. The weather is inevitable. It is February. Global warming may be an issue. Stormy weather - even extreme stormy weather is a possibility. What is making me angry is the reaction of our leaders - our government - the people we voted for to look after us.
For me democratic government is a contract. People decide that pubic service is their career, we vote them in and in exchange for a fair day's pay, they look after us. Yet in the midst of a crisis all I hear is politics, politics, sometimes a bit of economics and then some more politics. Not me mate, not my party. It was the other side - whoever they are.

Take the failure to dredge rivers in the Somerset levels. If I cast my old mind back to my Economic History A level, we learnt about the Industrial Revolution. The mills were supplied by canals and rivers, which had to be regularly maintained and dredged to keep them usable. It was simple geography. For years this has been ignored in Somerset because there was no bottom line in it  - no dollar value. No sensible person would deny that the lack of dredging has been one of the reasons for the awful flooding there. When David Cameron visited this week, one of his remarks was that the last government hadn't dredged either. Well that may be right but it's not a good enough response. It's not as if as soon as you got in you came running into Somerset with your hands flapping like a camp Batman shouting "It's OK I'm here now - dredging will be done!" In fact the Conservative party turned down money for dredging about six months ago. All this perpetual blame shifting is soooo tiring.There are schemes and thinkings out there that someone with a committed, think outside the box kind of leader should at least be looking at. Nah. Too busy playing politics.

The suspicion is that because it's the South West of England that it doesn't matter too much in our increasingly London - centric country. You may have read that the only train line through to the West Country has practically been swept into the sea. Plymouth now has no plane or train link to the rest of Britain. If a big tree falls across the A38 we could all starve to death!

This week, leaders visited Somerset and promised money for flood defences and dredging - money will be found apparently. Hurrah! It's all politics, short term headline grabbing politics. I don't want that from my leadership. Leaders are supposed to be better men (or heaven help us - women) than me. They are supposed to think differently, take advice from more creative minds than mine. They are supposed to be working for the good of the public they serve. All it feels like is the same old same old - bleating and finger pointing. No positivity, no vision no one who really seems to give a monkeys.

I watched a woman weep this week because she thought she had lost her house and her animals. No one expects leaders never to make mistakes. I would just like leadership. The brightest and the best looking after the weak and the old and the people who we put them in charge of. To paraphrase Amy Winehouse - You are supposed to be stronger than me.

Just Perfect

There are moments in time and space when all the stars in the heavens align and all is well with the world. At such perfect moments of loveliness I am confused as to why people can say that there is no God.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you, on the same screen, at the same time........

Benedict Cumberbatch and..... The Count!!!

Ha! Ha! Ha!

You're welcome.

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Hooray for Hollywood

Do you know, I disappoint myself sometimes. I love the cinema as you know. I love films. Yet, I sort of hope that being a grown up, I would be able to discern when Tinseltown was thinking it was above the rules and act accordingly. Unfortunately not.

I have been a fan of Woody Allen since the late seventies. More than a fan actually. Annie Hall and Stardust Memories would make it into my top ten of all time. However, this week Allen's adopted daughter wrote an open letter to us all about the abuses she says she suffered at Allen's hands. I don't know if this is true or not. I know he denies it and I also know that we have to be careful about not believing the claims of some one who has been abused. What if his daughter was telling the truth? Then Hollywood decided that it wanted the films more than justice and closed ranks? Then idiots like me just took their word for it? It's all a bit depressing as is my lack of a spine. I think that there will always be films that I love and some will be by Woody Allen. Still, a bit ...you know...

Hollywood is full of donks - Part Two.

You may not have heard but  Joni Eareckson Tada was nominated for an Oscar for best original song this week If you didn't hear, it may well be because the nomination has since been withdrawn. this was because 

Songwriter Bruce Broughton "had emailed [some of the other 239] members of the branch to make them aware of his submission during the nominations voting period,"

There is some talk around the fount of all integrity that is The Hollywood Oscar Publicity Machine, that Mr Broughton had used his position to try and influence Academy Members. HEAVEN FORBID. I mean it's not as if studios ever put pressure on the academy or anything. They only spend around $100 million dollars on publicity etc trying to get wins. 

In case you don't know who Mrs Tada is, she is an evangelical Christian with more integrity in her little finger than all these people. As a quadriplegic she struggles to sing and her husband had to put his knees on her chest to help her to reach the notes. I have heard the song and, tbh, it's not really my cup of tea but people who know about these things say it is a good song and certainly no worse than that U2 thingy that will probably win it.

You know, we may not be shot through with tinsel and glamour here in Plymouth but sometimes I am quite glad I'm boring.

Thank goodness for that

In my quest to conquer all the various craft skills - well to be honest knitting and a bit of sewing. (Crochet is a wicked thing as far as I am concerned and I am very suspicious of anyone who can do it without dislocating a knuckle.) I have finished my blanket - yes I have. I am frankly embarrassed to reveal how long knitting all these little hexagons took. It was, I am pretty sure, started in this millennium. The whole idea was that it should be something that I could pick up and put down. I think I put it down a lot more than I picked it up. Still, I'm glad it's done now. Very glad. The main problem was a lack of urgency on my part. It was a big task even by a proper knitter's standards. (Yes it was - even my mum said so) and I kind of felt that I had forever to do it. Eventually though the flippin thing kept getting on my nerves so much that I was knitting through gritted teeth and then sewing it together with a sort of obsessive speed that did not add to the harmony of the household.

I read this week about a man who wanted to increase his mindfulness of how life was passing. He has calculated how many days he can expect to live if he lives to eighty. (All being well I suppose) He has then taken two jars and filled one with a pebble for each day he has left. At the end of every day he moves one pebble from one jar to the other. This signifies that a day has gone from his timeline - a day he cannot get back. I know this is a bit DOOM laden. What happens on his eightieth birthday when he moves the last pebble over? (Assuming he can still see the jar by that point) Does he just lie down and give in or run down to the beach and frantically try and fill an Asda bag with a few more to tide him over? Still, it a good thing is it not to be mindful that time passes? To think that, if we want to achieve anything, the best time to start is now? 
If you are building anything slowly, whether it's a life or a stupid blanket, the principles are the same. Bit by bit. Keeping at it. Not letting where you want to finish up slip away. And, I suppose being aware that the time provided to get to be where you want to be is not infinite. 

Reviews and Thinkings

As you probably know it has been weathering like the end of the world for about a month outside and now it has the temerity to turn cold. (Not America cold but cold enough for me to discover that I have, in a kind of traditional way, lost my gloves again.) 

We haven't managed to spend much time outside except getting to and from places and dragging a recalcitrant dog around the park. I did make the piccs though and got to see "Saving Mr Banks" just in time. Just, just fantastic and lovely and sad and Emma Thompson you are brilliant. Academy Awards people - you know nothing. Nothing I tell you! No nomination for Ms Thompson or  Tom Hanks in Captain Phillips. Seriously - you couldn't pick a good performance in a Godfather movie. 

Various members of my family saw "12 Years a Slave" Hard to review because what do you say? I didn't like it? I don't think you are supposed to LIKE it are you? But still, they didn't like it. Relentless was the word used. I didn't go myself. A girl's gotta know her limitations. I know I would spend two and a half hours trying to get my head between my knees. 

So then. To Sherlock. SPOILER ALERT 

To tell you up front, I think it is head and shoulders above anything else on the Telly-Telly-Bunkum-Box (Thank you Mr Dahl) but I worried a bit at first. You will understand my wobbles if you are a Doctor Who fan. I'm not really - hasn't been the same since Eccleston left for me but did like Tennant quite a lot. But in Doctor Who - it sometimes feels to me like the fans write it now and I worried with the first episode of Sherlock that it was happening again. The outlandish solution to his death, the Morriarty nearly snog, the Bulgaria thingy. If you go anywhere near the Interweb, these will not have been new developments. Fans have been speculating about developments like these for ages. However, for me they did manage to turn it around. The wedding episode was just lovely and I think it needed to be lovely - it was the wedding for goodness sake. My favourite one though was the final episode in which we got the return of what was missing from the other two - menace. That chap from Borgen playing Rupert Murdoch was genuinely scary.

I've watched em all again. (Told you I wasn't getting out much) and these are my best bits

• Sherlock snogging Molly. Didn't say all the fan fiction was bad did I?
• John Watson's face when he sees Sherlock for the first time. Underrated excellence.
• Sherlock and Mycroft's parents being played by Benedict's Mum and Dad. Classy
• The character of Mary. Really glad she fits in with them Would have been boring drivel to make her antagonistic to Sherlock (See every other girl who has gone out with Watson in every other adaptation - ever)
• The game of Operation between Mycroft and Sherlock. So much back story in there. Excellent writing.
• Sherlock's battle for survival after being shot. Genuinely original and engaging. Nice to see Andrew Strong back but am hoping he is not alive. (Morriarty that is) Does no one die in this thing?

Stephen Moffat says he wants to write it as long as he can keep Benedict in it as the Cumberbatch is hot as July there now. I am hoping Hollywood holds its horses for just a bit longer.

Not as easy as you would think

I was wasting time on the t'Internet looking for photos of  dogs in onesies and rabbits making friends with baby cheetahs. (Not convinced about the long term future of that one) I came across a thing on The Huffington Post more or less saying that we over complicate the Christian Life. You just like... do it - God has left instructions. Easy Peasy.  Then they quoted Micah 8

It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbour,
    be compassionate and loyal in your love,

From my experience, I think we have to be careful mixing up the words "simple" and "easy". The basic idea of living a Christian life may be simple. It don't necessarily follow that it is easy. Take that bit about doing what is fair and just to your neighbour. What if your neighbour doesn't fancy having what is fair and just done to them maybe because your neighbour is in the wrong? What if they just wanted you to be on their side even if your neighbour knows in their heart that side isn't the fair and just side? Or maybe they think their side is the right side? Then they tell everyone they know that you have done them a wrong thing. Suddenly you are the most unpopular kid in school - just for trying to do the right thing.
You know in the long term that the right thing is simple and indeed right but in the short term, it may not be too much fun for you if you choose to follow it. Jesus chose to speak the truth - it didn't always make him the most popular man in town. 

I think Jesus' life was messy and complicated - full of distractions. That's why he had to "set his face like flint" I think the young people call it "eyes on the prize" 

What I am saying is not to panic if it doesn't all fall in your lap. You do the right thing- the simple thing for God and it all goes wrong. You know you operated with the best intentions so it is really discouraging when things fall apart.

When I was a young person I was really keen on Be-Be and Ce-Ce Winans. They did a song once called "The Blood" with MC Hammer of all people. It was a cheery enough song - not exactly a personal favorite. (My personal faves were the ones where Ce-Ce sounded like she was just about to cough her lungs up) Then, once, I listened to it with earphones. And there, ever so quietly, in the background was a secret message sung in the backing track. Over and over they would whisper

"No need to panic. Trust the Blood."

And that's all  we can do in the end. If Philippians says - don't worry about anything - pray about everything - it sort of follows that God knows that there will be things to worry about - mais non? In the words of the great Michael MacDonald - "No-one said it was easy..." etc etc
Don't think you are always doing something wrong it you find the Christian life hard. The central core of love is the simplest thing in the world. The day to day living of it can really do your head in. The central comfort for me is that I never do any of it alone. 

The Shape of Things to Come

We have a thing here at Martha Towers. Not a huge thing but a thing for us. We have a notice board in the back room/sewing room/computer room/dump everything room/Liam's sleeping room. We use this notice board to slam up little reminders of the things that have happened to us during the year. We are a collection of simple souls and these souvenirs do not, unfortunately, include gambling chips from Monaco and sachets of spices from Moroccan Bedouins. They tend to be cinema tickets, receipts from nice meals with nice people, train tickets to interesting places and letters and invites from people who we don't live that close to anymore. It provides a snapshot of the year as it passes. Every January, I clear it all off, bung it all in a big envelope and we start again. As usual, when I clear it, I am struck by how much God gave us. Even in what was for us a year of taking our time and standing still; there was still so much that happened. 

So now the board is empty (except for the permanent residence of FOW1's instructions to Head of House about how to put music onto his MP3. HOH cannot live without that being handy at all times) I am a bit allergic to looking forward and planning. Partly, I think because, years ago, when I became ill, I did so in early January and the promise of the new year was immediately swept away. However, sometimes my lack of planning, does jump up and bite me on the bum a bit. Like last November, I wanted to go on a writers thingy but because I left it to the last minute, I couldn't get the time off work and, to be honest, I hadn't put the money aside either, so didn't make it.

Tentatively then, I am thinking about the year to come. 

• Everyone in the house has a milestone birthday (except me) 18, 21 and 70. (OK so I am lying about the 70) I think this shows how bad a planner I am. What sort of lunatic would plan their children's births so that they have these birthdays in the same year and on top of that, in the same year that their father is 70? (Lying again about the 70)
• One member of offspring has big exams followed by decisions about the future
• We are hoping for some time away this year - in fact trip to York already in the bag as they say and looking at other stuff in second half of the year.
• As HOH is getting very old (70 candles this year. OK still just winding him up) he is thinking about reducing his hours ministering to the sick. (The sick seem to be ok with it)
• I have accepted a request to speak at an Alpha (First time I have done this in years. Feel slightly sick at the thought)
• We are hoping to get the rendering sorted some time this year as well. This may not seem like a big deal to you but it will go down very well with the neighbours and will hopefully get them to change their minds about getting a petition up because we are lowering the tone.

So loads of stuff on, even without the things that God tends to slip under the front door when we are not paying attention. I am going to try a bit harder to take responsibility (see last blog - not just throwing this together you know) and plan a bit. I think if God plans, it is maybe a good thing to have a go myself, maybe

I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. Jeremiah 29

Word 2014

So, apparently it is not cool to do resolutions any more. I have to admit that all those Sunday supplements promising "New Year - New You" are very annoying. The Sunday Times are relentlessly pushing a book by some woman who thinks we should give up sugar. I am sure that this is an admirable ambition except the "delicious" recipes are completely unobtainable unless you are a Notting Hill dwelling, mega salary earning, bona fide FREAK!

Example....

Natasha - founder of Honestly Healthy - Breakfast is a smoothie made from 100g mango, 60g celery, 60g cucumber, 25g spinach, 5g mint, 40g avocado, juice of 1 lemon, 260ml coconut water, 1/2 teaspoon spirulina, 1 teaspoon chia seed. (I consider it an achievement if I remember to stir currants into my porridge.)

Or Johnny - founder of Bespoke Fitness. His sweet treats include Stevia (a natural sugar alternative) and Cacao (a natural antioxidant). (I have double checked and he doesn't seem to list a scone among his sweet treats. No accounting for taste I suppose.)

We can all probably do with reducing our sugar intake. I just am not sure that I want to make it my reason for living. A more sensible approach to New Year resolutions is the one word for the year thing that people are doing. Angela at Tracing Rainbows has come up with the word "Shine". Lucy Mills at Looking Deeper has chosen "Release" You get the idea. For me I think it will be "Responsibility" - both positive and negative.

It is my responsibility to make the most of my time, my energy, my rest. If I have goals for the year, it is my responsibility to do what is asked of me to move closer to those goals. I have to be a grown up about this and not spend my time complaining that God never does anything for me. 

However, I also have to accept that it is not MY responsibility to keep the whole world happy. I can make sure that I try really hard not to make other people's lives a misery. I can try to be kind and sympathetic and thoughtful. But I cannot really bear the responsibility for making people happy. People come to me sometimes with a list of woes and look at me expectantly. I can give my take on it and maybe that can help (or maybe not) but other people have to take responsibility for their own lives sometimes too. Sometimes we really can't help ourselves and support is vital. Maybe just not as often as we think. I don't know about you but I have had people say "pray for me" but they don't really mean that. They mean "pray for me, take this from me, go find me the right people to help me, answer the phone night and day to support me, just flippin' come up with the answer will you!!!!?!" And I can't. Not always. I can listen but not forever. I can pray but we all need to pray for ourselves as well.  In my rather limited experience, when we pray for something, God rarely bursts through the door in a superhero suit. Each situation needs us to learn, often slowly and when we look back we see the miracle and our place in it.

The Hollies were once memorably heard to sing in a sort of long drawn-out way "He ain't heavy - He's my brother." Well he is quite heavy sometimes actually. And maybe, when I have done everything possible to support him, we both have to accept that really it's now between my brother and God and he needs to get off my shoulder and go to God direct - before he puts my back out.

It does sound a bit horrible this and I am not saying that people who need support shouldn't get it. I am just saying that God does the one to one stuff better than me and sometimes I just have to give you up to him and then you get to experience what he has for you yourself. 

Perhaps my most favourite pasage from The Message is the one from Matthew 11

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Sometimes we all have to find this in God for ourselves. That connection. That "Hullo. I was waiting for you to call on me." That thing that Jesus does that no one else can. There is a thing that only God can give you - and he won't let me go and get it for you. Believe me, it is much better for you to get it from God yourself. 

Films 2013

In case you are bothered, these are my films of the year. Because I am bothered, there is a definite lack of films where women are wounded, tortured with pliers or generally terrorised for our entertainment. If that's what floats your boat, you are in the wrong place. I don't think it's just my imagination that there is a lot more of this sort of stuff about so I am really chuffed when I find movies that try to do something a bit less stabby. Also, there are films that have been highly recommended that I haven't seen yet but still hope to (Saving Mr Banks, Mud) or  ones that I have heard are excellent but I feel a bit old to go to (Warm Bodies, Catching Fire)So by no means an exhaustive list. Anyway, one or two films till we all get bored and go off and do something else. (Bit like Doctor Who)

1. GRAVITY
Game changer. 3D and then some. Peril in space. Totally realistic (obvs no actual experience but judging by how scared I was...) Cloonster, Sandra, Best special effects EVER. That is all.

2. CAPTAIN PHILLIPS
Tom Hanks, possibly his best ever performance. ("Big" not included obvs) So tense, un-named member of our party had to go to loo halfway through for tension wee. (No, not me actually) Paul Greengrass genius story of Somali pirates hijacking a ship had me chewing the seat in front. No appearance from Princess Anne but you can't have everything.

3. BLUE JASMINE
Woody Allen good again. Cate Blanchette so brilliant I forgave her that stupid Armani advert. Interesting and smart, Alex Baldwin in it.  New York. And. just. funny. What do you want?

4 THE WAY WAY BACK
Bit obscure but worth seeking out. Delicious coming of age film. Sam Rockwell very funny. Steve Carrell very creepy. Nothing particularly revolutionary here but it is actually heartening and surely there's nothing wrong with that is there?

5. PHILOMENA
Deceptively important. Nasty nuns. Man's inhumanity to man laid bare, in the name of no religion I have ever known. Sensitively played by Judi Dench and Steve Coogan. Also noticeable that Philomena retained her faith and they were faithful to that. Two tissue movie.

6. DESPICABLE ME 2
If you didn't like this-you are weird. "Bottom! Heh. Heh."

7.THE WORLD'S END
Made me laugh a lot. "Cream of British Acting" behaving like alien invasions are something you can easily deal with, given enough pints of bitter.

Compliments of the Season

Happy New Year! Hope your Christmas went well. We did fine. Unfortunately, on Christmas Eve, HOH pulled his back while getting some logs out of the boot of the car. This curtailed the general jollity somewhat but otherwise fine. If I am being brutally honest I rather enjoyed three hours on my own in the kitchen - without help -  with Kermode and Mayo's Film Review of the Year on Radio 5 Live.

I inherited a Kindle Fire for Christmas and managed to thrill myself to nuclear levels by downloading a Barbara Pym book at 9pm at night to read that very same bedtime! These are thrilling times that we live in, indeed they are.

TV was a bit rubbish was it not?  As the weather is making going outside only possible in short twenty minute bursts until the dog has finished his ablutions, I could have done with a bit of good telly. Death Comes to Pemberly has been ok and the last thirty seconds of Doctor Who when we got to see Peter Capaldi  was good as well. Also, Toy Story 3 made me cry but other than that ----BRING ON SHERLOCK!

Rules

Trussell  Trust

Usually, I don't really speak on here about either the weather or politics. Mainly because the weather is boring (unless it is documented rather wonderfully on The Maple Syrup Mob ) I intend to break both of those rules in this blog. For a start, I am thinking about going out and finding some railings to lash my family to until this latest storm has passed. Plymouth is like a scene from Moby Dick. (Ok, no whale, I'll give you that) Much hilarity ensued when the BBC sent an intrepid reporter from its slightly breezy capital city, to Plymouth Hoe to get the locals' opinion. Locals, not being dimwits, had made themselves scarce and were holed up at home. Intrepid Reporter was left alone on seafront shouting into microphone and wondering if local lifeboat service would be able to find him when he was swept into the Sound. This weather is awful. It makes you think about those with nowhere to sleep tonight. I work on an office based on the ground floor of a local car park (Don't ask) and as soon as we leave the rough sleepers move in for the night. We don't mind as long as they don't set fire to the place or draw felt tip diagrams of their er.. underpants' departments on the wall. When too much loopy juice results in this kind of behaviour, we have to say non but otherwise we prefer to turn a blind eye.

On a slightly related note - politics. Usually I find that word as welcoming as the sentence uttered at the beginning of our Carol Service this week. "Tonight, we hope to be playing a few contemporary songs" Noooooooooo!
However, this is important. You may or may not know that Foodbanks were debated in our House of Commons this week. It didn't go well. It seems that the Government is wary of being railroaded by groups with political agendas on this issue. Well first of all, you are politicians, I would have thought that political cut and thrust was easy peasy for you. Also, this is a big deal. People need these places to feed their children. In 20th Century Britain! Really! It isn't the war you know. 

I am quite an old biddy and I have never seen anything like it in my time. I thought this kind of thing had passed - like Z Cars and rickets. I have no idea why the people in charge don't feel the need to hang their heads in shame and I mean any political party. For more information, please refer to Jack Munro. She has known plenty of poverty in her time and is a tireless campaigner. 

It's Christmas and for some people, all that means is a big shiny sign of how awful their life is. It does my head in because Christmas was meant to be the sign that it was time for things to change for the better - Jesus was here and the rescue plan had moved into gear. It is a bad sign for our society that for many people Christmas doesn't mean very much at all.
If you can give to your local Foodbank or the Sally Army, please do so. They are packed to the drawstrings with Christians who are trying to make a difference. If you can't give, you can pray. I'm no expert but I don't think it's supposed to be like this.
Wishing you a loving and peaceful Christmas xx

This week

This week I will be mostly

• Rooting round the bottom of wardrobes to find presents that I cunningly bought ahead and have now lost.
• Trying to keep patient with old ladies who cannot believe that we don't run a bus to visit the pub on Christmas morning
• Washing the back of my eyes out to try and rid myself of the picture of Sir Alec Ferguson coming down a long staircase at the BBC Sports Personality of the Year Awards, while Russell Watson sings "To Dream The Impossible Dream." *Rubs eyes hard* Nope - can still see it.
• Wondering if it is ever acceptable to not wrap presents. Surely more environmentally friendly?
• Getting snotty when Mums on Facebook who have a month of exciting Advent activities for their children are making me weep with inferiority. 
• Trying not to get to upset over Syrian children in that horrific winter and also that video on You Tube of the abandoned puppy running after the car that it had just been chucked out of. As you can see, my priorities are expertly balanced.
• Re above - what is the matter with everybody?
• Re above and the above that - Am having unsavoury fantasies re puppy abandoners, Syrian generals on both sides and big stick with a nail in it. Am aware that this is probably NOT what Jesus would do. Probably.
• Re above and above etc etc. Think I am very tired

Am working on personal  theory that God invented Christmas to save the world and then decided to put it in winter to try and cheer me up a bit. You may feel that this is a little ME-centric and you could be right I suppose. It is working for me at the moment though. As is kids assuring me that twenty and seventeen is too old to be making snowflake cut outs and they would rather watch Die Hard and run informal yet somehow quite aggressive competition to force as many Ferero Rochers into their mouths as possible. Not much like The Waltons. Funnier though.